


The Red, the Green, and the Gamma Inbetween

by Chess_Blackfyre



Series: Adventures of the Savage Scarlet Hulk [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Also taking the place of Rick Jones as Bruce's friend, Darcy is a Hulk, F/M, Steve Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betty Ross has done the seemingly done the impossible, and found a way to physically separate the Hulk from Bruce Banner! Being the good friends they are, Darcy and Steve go out to Gamma Base to offer help and moral support.</p><p>And the most unexpected thing happens--It works! But afterwards is when things start getting messy to say the least...</p><p>Darcy realizes just how far she would go for her friends, and Steve finds out how far he would go for Darcy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It always starts with a phone call

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's Darcy x Steve month! My favorite month with my favorite pairing *squeals*
> 
> However, life and more specifically COLLEGE makes writing hard. So, for lack of prompt work, enjoy the second installment of the AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE SAVAGE SCARLET HULK!

Two months since the Scarlet Hulk joined the Avengers. A little over that Darcy and Steve Rogers started dating. For Captain America, the time passed by in a happy blur.

 

While he realized that one person couldn’t be the be-all end-all for his happiness, Darcy gave him a place in the world. Loosing Bucky, Peggy, Howard, the Commandos…The pain was still there, definitely, but it was more manageable. Less raw. It was only interrupted by the occasional nightmare or panic attack that he was getting pretty good at hiding (from her and everyone else)(If he could just pretend everything was okay everything would be okay.)

 

He had his best girl, and he had his work with SHIELD and the Avengers.

 

The only surprise the Avengers experienced with Scarlet Hulk in the mix was in how obvious it was that she was still Darcy Lewis. Scarlet brought almost as much physical force to their attack as Hulk, but instead of just roaring and smashing everything in sight, she made snarky remarks and bantered with the other Avengers when she could. There was still smashing involved, but it was much more selective and focused smashing.

 

However, if they really wanted to do the most damage they could, they sent out both Hulks at once. It could be construed as bringing two nuclear missiles to a gun fight but hey, Hulks had to get their fun in some how.

 

Hulk loved playing with his friend 'Scar', and Darcy could get into as much trouble as she wanted, knowing she had the Hulk as back up.

 

There was one particular incident, the Avengers were raiding an AIM base, and he was in the middle of fighting ground troops (hired mercs, actually) when he heard the most particular noise. Apparently his opponents heard it too as they all stopped fighting for a moment to figure out what the hell that was. And looking up, they saw that the Scarlet Hulk sailing through the air, laughing manically all the while. (Darcy had managed to convinced the Hulk to throw her at the fortress).

                                                                                                      

"Your girlfriend's crazy." One of the mercenaries commented.

 

"Yeah," Steve admitted before hitting him in the face with the shield, "but I love her.”

 

Reactions to the Scarlet Hulk had been mixed. The Pentagon, FBI and basically whoever else you were expecting to have a stick up their ass about it did, going ‘blah blah property damage blah blah accountability blah blah hand her and Banner over or else’. The ‘or else’ of course, rarely came to anything more than a bureaucratic paperwork pissing match with Steve regularly signing off on counter-measure statements that implied in the politest of terms that the other party could go suck a great big bag of dicks for all he cared. (Darcy’s words, not his. Though he didn’t disagree).

 

The general public, however, all but fell in love with her. (How can they not? She was completely loveable) A hero with super-superstrength and not afraid to show her feminine side? Where had she been all their lives! Pepper had to routinely turn down requests for interviews from Oprah, 60 Minutes and every other major news source worth their salt.

 

Except Jamison, who hated superheroes. And Fox News, who could hated everyone and could go eat a great big bag of dicks for all he cared.

 

At this particular moment though, Steve was trying to remember if they had any milk left in their apartment (well, technically his, but Darcy spent most of her time over there, so) when he walked into find Tony showing Darcy how to properly use a soldering iron. Tony insisted it was team bonding, Darcy said that since it was so easy to break things as the Scarlet Hulk, she might as well learn how to put them back together. He’d also been showing her how to do some basic motorcycle repair and maintenance. Ever since their first date, he’d sensed she had a thing for the bike.

 

Darcy wore jean shorts and an old t-shirt whose fabric was doing a valiant effort to remain intact against the irresistible force that was her torso. Okay, maybe he was being a bit overdramatic but still.

 

"What the hell are you wearing?" Steve asked, indicating Tony’s particular choice of work clothes this morning.

 

"Oh, just a little something I picked up." It was a picture of Scarlet hugging him, his face buried in her cleavage with a heart around them. From the viral video. He sighed. Steve had noticed pictures of them circling around online. Before he could further comment, Ms. Potts—Pepper (he was getting better) walked in with contracts for him to look over and sign as head of Stark R&D. And by that, that meant a quick five minute bickering/flirting session and a quick kiss.

 

That left him and Darcy alone with JARVIS and the bots.

 

“Does it really bother you that much?” Darcy asked, knowing how Steve was about his privacy.

 

"It is a bit annoying, to have so many people prying into our private life," He huffed, and his face softened. "But I'd regret it more if there was nothing here for people to talk about." He smirked.

 

"Charmer."

 

"I try to be." They touched noses in an eskimo kiss before she gave him a peck on the cheek. Then her cellphone rang. She moved to turn it off before noticing who exactly was calling. She gave an apologetic smile and he gave a nod of understanding, lord knows he had enough of those kinds of calls from Fury.

 

“Hey Dr. Ross, what’s—Oh. Okay,” Steve couldn’t hear Dr. Betty Ross’ end of the conversation, but he was wondering why Dr. Banner’s lady love was calling Darcy. (Or former lady love, Bruce’s love life was complicated at the best of times). Maybe they knew each other from Culver? Or maybe Dr. Ross had gotten in touch after learning the gamma blast that gave Darcy her powers were meant for her. Saving someone’s life had a tendency to bring people together. “Sounds risky, are you sure?” More pause. “Okay, I’ll come. See you tomorrow, I guess.”

 

“What was that?” Tony asked.

 

“Wrong number.”

 

“Booty call.”

 

The super soldier and hulkess shot looks at each other.

 

“That was weird, but I’m going to ignore that in favor of showing off my latest invention.” He brought up the specs. “Presenting, lady and gentleman, the latest in Stark fashion, it’s mega-elastic and an all new type of fabric. It’s also made of an even thinner version of reinforced Stark Armor, so your clothes can keep up with your bullet and knife proof skin. Like your lovely ball gown, you can change back and forth in it with ease. All that’s left to pick out is the color.”

 

"May I suggest a purple and white color scheme Ms Lewis?" Jarvis suggested, showing a representation on the holo-screen.

 

"Hmm…Isn't it a bit seventies work out gear Jarv?" Darcy tilted her head.

 

"Of course Miss Lewis, how foolish of me.” The AI responded sarcastically.

 

“Black with white highlights, please and thank you.”

 

“Great. These should be ready for you in a few days.”

 

“Perfect.” Excusing herself, Darcy went up to her room. It wasn’t snooping, it was being a good boyfriend.

 

“So, am I allowed to ask what that was all about.”

 

“Betty’s found something that could help Bruce. Something big. She wants me to head out to her lab to help her with it. And be there in case anything goes wrong as damage control.” If it was potentially dangerous, no way he was letting her go by herself.

 

“So you’re headed out to Culver?”

 

“Not exactly…” Finding a duffel bag, she pulled out a couple day’s worth of clothes and cash.

 

“I should come with.” He decided. He’d been meaning to meet Dr. Ross anyway.

 

 “You don’t have to come Steve.” Darcy insisted.

 

“I don’t have to, I want to.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She put up with enough stuff in his crazy life, it was the least he could do. Besides, if it had anything to do with Bruce, his teammate, he had a right to know. “Did she specifically say just you?”

 

“No…”

 

“Then I’ll get packed.” He smiled.

 

She smiled back. “Meet me in the garage in half an hour.”

 

He complied, packing about three day’s worth of clothes in his duffle bag. He placed that and his shield in the trunk of one of the less flashy cars, but it was obviously still luxurious. “So,” he asked, getting into the passanger side, “where are we headed?”

 

“Gamma Base.” General Ross’ headquarters? Well, then he was really glad he was going with her. Right into the belly of the beast.

 

“Isn’t that in New Mexico?”

 

“They moved it to Nevada after…everything.” She waved a hand dismissively. Everything being the explosion that rearranged her molecules. “You’re the DJ. I know all Tony’s cars have satellite radio, so please don’t keep it on the 40’s station our entire trip.”

 

“No promises doll.” He smirked.


	2. On the Road to Gamma Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much what the title says

Bruce was not sulking.

 

He was soul-searching, there was a difference.

 

The day after the Stark gala, he’d walked into the labs to find a stern Steve Rogers with his best ‘Captain America does not approve’ face, alongside a cautiously friendly Tony Stark and Darcy Lewis.

 

He had thought they’d be there to talk about Sterns and Blondsky, he had no idea of the bomb that was about to be dropped in his lap. (Literally).

 

Bruce had been defensive at first, denying involvement. He’d been working on a way to protect soldiers from depleted uranium (new super soldier serum), not weapons of mass destruction. Working for the military had always just been a stepping stone, a way to get him funding and connections to start his real passion project, using gamma energy as a cure. For everything. Viral diseases, famine, epilepsy, he believed that gamma radiation held a solution for all those problems and more.

 

Then it came to him.

 

The Christmas party. Betty had all but dragged him to it, claiming that it would be fun, and a good way to get to know his co-workers. But with his so called colleagues stand-offish at best and the General giving him the stink eye the entire evening, Bruce made the active decision to get horribly drunk. Things get understandably hazy after that, but suddenly, a foggy memory came of a pen and napkin in hand, sketching down some rough blueprints either on a dare, boredom, or just because he could. ( _You’ve always been a monster._ )

 

Bruce could feel the blood drain from his face, and he felt about three inches tall. The Captain’s sterness leaked from his features, leaving behind Steve, concerned Avenger and team leader. ( _Why did the serum work for Steve and not Bruce? Why did they get to be happy and in love_?)

 

Tony had done a bit of digging, and the sketch on the napkin became blueprints in military files, and finally a 3D image presented to the four of them. As he looked over the blueprints (sober) Bruce impressed that Darcy didn’t explode in a mass of tumors.

 

“Thank you for that mental image.” She made a face. And oh god he said that out loud didn’t he.

 

“Yes, yes you did.”

 

After New York, Bruce is honestly a bit listless. With the military no longer after him, with Tony Stark watching his back, theoretically he could do anything he wanted to. Go anywhere, do anything he wanted to.

 

Key word there: _theoretically._

He knew there were terms and conditions to his freedom. Certain unsaid rules he would have to abide by. Ross had backed off, but he wasn’t the only one in the military interested in destroying and/or weaponizing the Hulk.

 

So, he was vaguely planning on making his way cross country, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature as he made his way to Los Angeles, home of his cousin Jennifer Walters. Jen was practically like a little sister to him, not to mention the only family he had left.

 

Now, you’d think on his little cross country tour he’d stop by the place of a certain Dr. Elizabeth Ross, but a) he had no idea where she was, b) even if he did, she deserved way better than him, and she just needed space to see that and move on with her life and c) he couldn’t just keep popping in out of nowhere whenever he felt like it.

 

So no, Bruce wasn’t jealous of Darcy.

 

He wasn't jealous that she had complete control over herself. That she could change at will, emotional state and heart rate be damned. Wasn't jealous that at most she banged a couple of doors and ripped up pavement as opposed to the millions of dollars in property damage along (let alone human cost) when Bruce went Code Green. Wasn't jealous that she had someone who accepted her for what she was, and could perfectly well defend himself if things went bad.

 

If he was jealous, that meant that he would want her to be like him. He wasn’t petty enough to wish her to be like him.

 

Because Bruce Banner didn’t even like himself.

 

That was his last thought before everything dropped into familiar darkness. 

* * *

 

“So let me get this straight,” Steve stares at the menu. “If I can eat the whole steak in under an hour, I don’t have to pay for it?”

 

“Side dishes too, but that’s the basic idea.” Darcy gave an amused smile. They’d stopped by a roadside diner in a small town called Vista Verde, Hulk and Super Soldier both hungry after the long day of driving, and they weren't too far out from the coordinates that Betty had sent them. The last couple of days had been great. They'd talked, they'd sang along to the radio, Steve got at least half the things crossed off his list (though Darcy had been sure to add some more), and they'd just had an all around great time--even if he was a horrible radio hog who didn't accept requests for a changed channel from the driver while he was DJ.

 

“Well, I know what I’m having.” He decided, setting the menu down and taking a drink of ice water. It was so easy to forget that Steve had grown up during the Great Depression, and as such was basically a paragon of frugality. Okay, that was a bit of hyperbole on Darcy’s end, but she routinely caught him cutting coupons from the paper and even mending worn out old socks who were practically begging for death. (By the way, how she walked in on this? He gave her the key to his apartment **squee** ). It was actually quite...domestic. In the good way. Made her really feel like she and Steve were in an actual adult relationship.

 

Upon thinking about it, Darcy realized that normally at two months in, whatever guy she originally thought was sweet or nice or cool would start to show his true colors. He'd either turn out to be an asshole who was getting impatient for sex (because apparently  _just_ because she had an above average rack and was proud of it  _must_ mean she was loose with her affections), gay which she had no problems with but seriously, just let a girl know what your deal was. or would reveal some other sort of deal breaking information like a girlfriend, or thinking that the Star Wars prequels were the best of the series, the uncultured troglodyte. (There had been Ian, but she soon found out adrenaline-fueled kisses were hardly the foundation on which to build a relationship).

 

Steve wasn't like that though. Oh, he had layers, like his love of art or how much of a sarcastic asshole he could be. But they were interesting layers, like cake. And from a girl used to onion-like layers, that cake tasted all the sweeter.

 

Speaking of food, she had just about finished her onion rings when Steve finished his steak. "Holy cow," She shot at her boyfriend. "That was fast, even for you." Steve smirked with pride.

 

"I wanted to make sure that I ate it in time."

 

She gave him a blank look. "Are you trying to show off? Because I think we both know I appreciate it more when you show off your gymnastic skills." While she had him beat hands down in teh gym, no way she could ever do flips and tumbles like he could.

 

"I was no--maybe, maybe I was. If you want me to make it up to you, I could give you a  _private_ show later." He teased. Darcy chuckled as the waitress came to take his plates.

 

"Any desert sir?" He looked at Darcy.

 

"Wanna split anything doll?"

 

"Wait until I've had a chance to finish my entree sweetie."

 

"Slice of lemon pie for me then."

 

"More coffee?" the server asked.

 

"Sure." He held out his cup to be refilled.

 

Darcy waited until she was gone before answering him. "As much as I would surely love that, we need to get to Betty. I'm worried about her."

 

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realized you knew her well enough to worry about her."

 

Darcy shrugged. "Well, we're not super best friends, certainly, but I did kind of save her life. Also, I took two of her classes back at Culver. Not to mention she's been weirdly hush-hush on what precisely she wanted me to do."

 

"That does sound a little weird," Steve admitted as he took the pie. "Why? You think it's a set up by Ross?"

 

"No, he's off Hulk's back for the time being, and since the whole A-thing mine too, though I'm not stupid enough to think that'll last forever."

 

"You're not stupid at all." He reassured. "Plus, you've got _Captain America_ following you into the jaws of death, what can go wrong?" She didn't miss the slight self-depreciation in the teasing.

 

"Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of a drama queen?" She shot back with a smirk.

 

"Moi?" He smiled, putting a hand to his chest in a mock offended manner.

 

"Oui, tu, Monsieur 'I like to jump out of planes with no parachute'." Seriously, she was a nearly indestructible vermillion badass and she didn't dare to do that.

 

"Buck might've mentioned it once or twice." His face fell a second later when he realized what he said. Uh-oh, Bucky, one of Steve's sore spots. Darcy reached over and took one of his hands in hers.

 

"Hey," she tried to shake him out of one of his funks, as he called it. Steve met her eyes. Darcy had no experience with this kind of thing, so as always, decided to fake it until she made it. "Do you wanna talk about him or...?"

 

"No," he quickly shot down. "No I don't." Darcy got an idea.

 

"You're right, it's time to change," she smoothed a lock of hair behind his ear, "the subject." she pulled out a quarter. Steve stared at it a moment before cracking a smile. Darcy responded with one of her own, happy that he was, well, not as sad.

 

"And you call me the drama queen." He finally spoke. She just snorted and gave him an 'oh really?' look.

* * *

 

His SHIELD ID got them into Gamma base, but not without a couple of looks, though his glares kept them from interfering or questioning them (he hoped). While they were walking through the corridors of the base, he decided now would probably be his last chance to ask. "Since you know how...rocky I can be with beautiful women involved--present company excluded."

 

"Thank you babe." She smirked.

 

"Anything I should know about, landmines to avoid?" He fished.

 

“Sure, Betty and Bruce were working on revitalizing the super-soldier program that her dad, General Ross, was overseeing. Also, they’d been ‘going steady’ as you might say.” Bruce dating the daughter of his biggest enemy? That would make Sunday dinners awkward to say the least. “Then Hulk happened and Bruce had to go. The last time they saw each other was a bit before New York.”

 

“Two months, give or take.” A lovely brunette in a white lab coat stepped out from around the corner. Looking at her, Steve could see why Bruce was smitten with her. What could he say? He had a thing for brunettes. And this brunette was looking at him with a curious and concerned eye.

 

"Betty, this is--"

 

"Steve, Steve Rogers." He offered his hand, she took it, her grip firm. Definitely an Army brat.

 

"Pleased to meet you Captain Rogers, though I am wondering why you're here." She said, looking at Darcy with a look he translated as a mixture of approval and disapproval. Colonel Phillips had the same look when Steve came back from rescuing the missing men from Zola.

 

"I was there when you called Darcy. Plus, I get to spend a long trip with my girl." Ross's eyes widened.

 

"Oh, so you two are.." she gestured between the couple.

 

"Yeah. A few months now. I'm surprised you don't know considering the amount of media attention the Avengers get."

 

"I don't keep up with the news." She brushed off, using her own keycard to usher them into another part of the building. They went through a series of labs, based on all the scientific equipment and monitors with readouts Steve couldn't begin to understand flanked them on each side as they traveled. It began to bring back his memories of Dr. Erskine and Project Rebirth. He decided to push down that train of through before it went somewhere bad again. He had to focus on Darcy and Dr. Ross.

 

"So, are you finally gonna tell me what I'm doing here?" Darcy crossed her arms as they finally stopped in front of a large...holding tank?

 

"Yes. I apologize for the secrecy, but this isn't something I should tell you about over the phone." Betty sighed, as if steeling herself. For what, Steve couldn't imagine. "But unknown to anyone else, not even my father, I've discovered a way to separate the Hulk and Bruce Banner. Permanently."

 

Okay, he did NOT see that coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun DAH!


	3. Fishing Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Steve and Darcy react to last chapter's news, Betty gets to play Q, and Hulk is essentially a big toddler.

“Wait, what?”

 

“The actual fuck?!”

 

Captain America and the Scarlet Hulk shared a look as their sentences ran into one another.

 

“Perhaps I should start this from the beginning. Bruce had been working for years, mostly on the run, on how to cure himself of the Hulk. Naturally, the Hulk didn’t cooperate. After New York, e\Bruce seems to have more or less resigned himself to just living with the Hulk, an arrangement neither of them seem overly fond of. With the nutrient bath, we can physically separate the two of them, filtering out Bruce’s cells from the Hulk’s gamma-irradiated ones. Hulk can have a life all his own, Bruce can be free of the Hulk and not have everyone hunting him or walking on eggshells. Everyone gets what they want.”

 

“But after the separation, what happens then? What happens to the Hulk?” The look in Betty’s eyes mad it obvious that she hadn’t really thought that all the way through.

 

“Do you have something in mind, Captain?”

 

“Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Active military or no, I know what you’re thinking,”

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He demanded.

 

“Simple, we ask him.” Darcy stepped forward, before this could escalate further.

 

“What?” The two turned to look at the Hulkess.

 

“Appearances to the contrary, he’s not an idiot. Hulk is,” she took a moment to find the right words. “He’s like a big toddler. With everyone treating him like a monster, that’s simply what he had to become. No one ever really gave him a choice. So that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to give the Hulk a choice.”

 

Steve and Betty stared at her, Steve had forgotten how close Darcy and the Hulk were. In fact, if Bruce wasn’t old enough to be her father, he _might_ almost be jealous. Okay, scratch that, he’d be concerned. Not that Darcy would ever cheat _God_ no. But Dr. Banner was kind, handsome with two or three PhD’s and a genius level intelligence. What was that compared to a relic from the forties with barely a year of Art College under his belt? Yeah, he knew he could be insecure. Five or so years of having a fancy new body didn’t make up for twenty-one years of being the scrawny little kid from Brooklyn he still kinda thought of himself as.

 

“Now, anything else we should know about now?” A good leader tried to get all the facts he could before starting a mission, and he didn’t want another bombshell like the Stark Gala.

 

“Bruce gave me the original idea of the nutrient bath, and he’ll have to be in Hulk form for this to work.”

 

Well, that certainly threw a wrench into things. Dr. Banner would be cooperative, undoubtedly. The Hulk…well, it depended on what kind of mood he was in.

 

“Okay, then, any idea where he is, last I heard he was doing some soul searching.” The poor man probably needed it to, after the shock he went through regarding the gamma bomb. Bruce was a pacifist by nature, and the idea of making more weapons, more _Hulks_ was his worst nightmare.

 

“That’s where you enter into this, Darcy.”

 

“And something tells me you don’t want to bat my eyelashes and say ‘pretty please’.”

 

“Put simply…no. While he’s not actively chasing the Hulk, father does like to keep an eye on him.

 

“Though, if you really want me to go Hulk-Wrangling, I’m going to have to change.”

 

* * *

 

“Didn’t Stark say that the polymer wouldn’t be ready until next week?”

 

“The bullet and knife proof one, yes. This is it’s simply stretchy forbearer.” Over the bra she put on a crop-top with his shield on the front. Steve smirked in self-satisfaction, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. Darcy tilted her head. “Don’t get cocky, dollface, I bought this long before we met.”

 

It was then that Betty walked in with some important-looking equipment. “I brought something that should help.” She pulled up, revealing some sort of gun with leads running off of it. “It’s a gamma tranquilizer, it’ll put the Hulk fast asleep without him turning back into Bruce.”

 

“How does it work?” Darcy asked, tentatively picking it up. Her boss routinely made her own equipment, and she’d learn how to appreciate fine engineering.

 

“It’ll feed off of your gamma bio-energy. I estimate you’re good for about two shots before getting tapped out.”

 

“Won’t that hurt her?” Steve asked, a bit concerned.

 

“No, Hulk bodies are like gamma reactors. Essentially, she’s just draining the internal battery down to 20%. You’ll be easily able to recharge with a little rest.”

 

“Anything else for us, Q?” Darcy quipped, slinging the tranquilizer over her shoulder. Steve smiled, understanding the reference. As did Betty.

 

“Just one other thing…your ride.” She pulled out some keys.

 

* * *

 

Hulk was playing in a riverbed less than an hour’s ride out. Apparently, her earlier toddler comparison hadn’t been far off as he was now just splashing about in pure, childish glee. Soon enough, he was splashing right into her crosshairs.

 

“Subject in position,” Darcy quietly relayed into her comm, “And the tranquilizer is now,” she pressed the button, “on.” She winced, feeling her own gamma energy flow into the machine. “Power convertor seems to be functioning.” She hoped this dropped him real quick, because otherwise she’d be right fucked.

 

As if sensing her unease, Steve spoke calm reassurance in her ear. “Don’t worry, I’m just a panicked yell away, Darce.”

 

“Well, at least he looks calm. With any luck, he’ll turn back into Banner, making this easier on all of us.” _But whenever had they had that kind of luck?_

 

Though, contrary to her belief, Hulk actually did start to calm down and start to change back into Bruce—until he caught a reflection of himself in the water.

 

“PUNY BANNER!” Hulk started punching at his reflection in the water, then at the cliff wall where Darcy was stationed. “HULK HATE BANNER! HULK SMASH!”

 

So she and Hulk could remain friends, Darcy had hoped she could do this unseen from the shadows. Luck however, was obviously still not on her side as the ground gave out from under her and she slipped down the cliff. Making sure to land underneath the gear, she now had an entirely different and bigger problem on her hands.

 

“ENEMY!” That happened sometimes, Hulk would get so worked up he attacked almost anything that moved. Thor called it a 'Berserker Rage'. Darcy called it trouble.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” She grumbled, and pointing at the Hulk’s chest “Sorry buddy,” she fired. The blast sent the Hulk hurdling towards the rocky cliff, but he got back up.

 

“NOW HULK ANGRY!” She fired again, and this time, he went down, splashing down into the water

 

“Scarlet Hulk to Cap. The Hulk is down. Repeat, the Hulk is down.” She sounded like she just finished a triathlon. Certainly felt like it. “Not for long though, fish him out down river.”

 

“Roger that, Scarlet.” And at the sound of whirling blades, Darcy gladly welcomed the sight of Steve piloting a chopper.

 

“You okay?” Steve asked as his girl slumped in the co-pilot’s seat. Their cargo was loaded on a thick metal cable dangling from the bottom of the aircraft. Trust her, it was just better for everyone.

 

“Yeah, yeah, though Betts wasn’t lying when she said I’d be tapped out. Feels like I got on the wrong side of a Destroyer.”

 

“Just rest, we’ll be back to base soon.”

 

They were halfway back when they started hearing the rumbles. Darcy was immediately annoyed at being abruptly woken up from her nap. It seems as if the Hulk was no less pleased to be awoken from his.

 

Opening up the cargo door to look at where she was suspended, Darcy looked down.

 

“What’s going on back there?” Steve asked.

 

“He’s up, and if he gets any jerkier, the cable will—“ _Snap._ Only Darcy’s quick reflexes kept the Hulk in the air, not that the jolly green seemed to appreciate that. Now, normally Darcy could totally hold up something of the Hulk’s weight. But, being tapped out from the gamma tranq, and the weight of the cable plus his thrashing wasn’t helping anything.

 

Looks like she was being dragged out with him.

 

“Radio Betty!” She was now gripping the bottom of the helicopter, trying to keep Hulk from falling to Earth. “Tell her Plan B!”

 

“Wait a minute,” Steve demanded a second before Scarlet Hulk’s grip bent the metal downwards and broke off and the love of his life started hurdling towards the ground below. “THERE WAS A PLAN B?!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh poor Steve, no one tells him anything.
> 
> Anyway, hoped you enjoyed. I know updates are sparse, and often unrefined, but I hope you enjoy it none the less!


	4. And to everyone's surprise, it worked!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, Darcy really has some weird friends, Steve is probably has some attachment issues, and Talbot is there to ruin everything.

For one terrible moment, he’s back on that train, and Bucky has just fallen to his death. For the second time, Steve is a complete and utter failure. With all his strength, he couldn’t protect the ones he loved.

 

_Loved…._

 

Then, he snaps out of it. This is Darcy Lewis they’re talking about, the fucking _Scarlet Hulk_. He’d seen her take a good hundred rounds to the chest without so much as breaking stride. This? This was nothing more than falling down the stairs to her.

 

He got on the comm. “Betty, this is Steve, we’ve got a complication. Darcy said to start Plan B…?”

 

* * *

 

Darcy landed with a thud on the ground, knowing that she was going to be feeling that one in the morning. Or, you know, right now. Looking up, she groggily realized that she and the Hulk had made craters on the ground, and said Hulk was now snarling at her in a particularly threatening manner.

 

“Easy, easy now Hulk, just listen to me,” She tried to sit up. “It’s me, Scarlet Hulk.”

 

“Scar?” He asked, sounding dizzy. “Hulk confused,” he staggered around. “Wher-where’s Banner?” He rubbed the top of his head. “Puny Banner…is Hulk!” He said, as if it was some sort of startling revelation. He then started staggering towards her.

 

Scarlet Hulk held her ground, “Hulk, I know you’re confused, but I’m _really_ not in the mood or condition to play with you right now.” Despite her words, Hulk picked her up and threw her lightly. Well, lightly for him. She skirted along the desert sand before bumping into a rock. She groaned, but started to inwardly smile as she caught the sound of hissing noises nearby.

 

Then frowned again as Hulk came at her, fists raised. “Hulk, I’m _trying_ to help you!” She really tired, she did. But Hulk, either honestly confusing her for an enemy or thinking that this was time for one of their friendly spars, picked her up again and ran them into the side of a nearby rock formation.

 

Most people would despair, Most people would panic or give up. But not Darcy. Because she was dating Steve fucking Rogers and regularly spared with Thor, Prince of Asgard. Pinned, but not down, Scarlet Hulk brought her legs up and her feet connecting with the Hulk’s abdomen, pushed outwards, sending him back. “You need my help Hulk,” she coughed, staggering to her feet once more. “I know Banner’s—“

 

“HULK HATE PUNY BANNER!”

 

“You’ve established that, yes.” Man, she could not catch a break—or a rock as a rather large on was hurdled at her, knocking her again to the ground.

 

He stalked towards her again, but not before a tan army jeep sped past and skidded to a halt in between the two of them.

 

Betty and Steve raced out of the car. Both in everyday clothes, but the super-soldier with his mighty shield on his back.

 

“Hulk, no!”

 

“Darcy isn’t your enemy, soldier!”

 

Betty and Steve went to their respective Hulks.

 

“Betty…Cap… _Betty._ ” Hulk gripped his head, struggling to remember, and growling in pain.

 

“Oh Hulk,” the scientist sighed. She took the green giant’s arm, and Hulk allowed himself to be gently plied by the brunette, just as Steve gently plied his brunette to her feet. Darcy was careful not to lean her full weight on him, but was grateful for the help none the less.

 

“We’ve gotta move, no doubt Ross has realized we and the helicopter are all missing by now.” And he didn’t like the look of that Talbot either.

 

“Fallback plan up and running?” Betty asked.

 

“And looming in every shadow.” Looking around, the hisses and chirps were now significantly closer. Steve looked around warily, but trusted Darcy enough to know what they were getting into.

 

“I know it’s hard to understand, Hulk, I know. But we can help you. You don’t have to have Banner inside you anymore.” Betty took Hulk’s hand, “We can take him away.” Hulk hummed, as if considering.

 

“You don’t have to trust me Hulk, but trust her.” Darcy insisted. The Hulk looked like he was about to say something before the sound of helicopters drew their attention. Five of them, specifically. Hulkbuster choppers all armed to the teeth and moving towards them fast, as the sun was quickly setting on the horizon.

 

“How much you wanna bet Ross actually has any approval to do this?” Scarlet Hulk grumbled in his ear. Steve frowned. Ever since he’d joined the military and become part of Project: Rebirth, he’d felt nothing but pride at being a member of the US armed forces. Now? Now he just felt ashamed at how low they’d fallen.

 

Hulk raised his fist and leapt at them, despite Betty’s protests. He immediately punched one out of the sky.

 

“Hang on Hulk, I’ve got you.” The Captain moved for the jeep. Darcy caught him before he could get behind the wheel.

 

“You can’t help him by racing off! Stick to the plan,” Darcy insisted. Though it went against most of Steve’s instincts, he complied.

 

Darcy whistled. “Rock on outcasts!”

 

Then, out of every rock formation and hill side, monstrous creatures appeared, throwing huge rocks out at the incoming choppers, most of them were hitting their intended targets. He had to blink a couple of times just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating all of this.

 

With some teamwork, they even managed to destroy one—but not before the pilot ejected, of course. The rest of the aircraft were taking evasive action before apparently retreating (for now at least). But before they were out of the crossfire, Hulk jumped onto the hood of the leader and grabbed someone out of there before the pilot ejected and the chopper itself crashed in to the rocky hillside with a boom.

 

Looks like it was someone Hulk knew as well, given the way Betty had to talk him down from beating on the man.

 

“Betty, this is _insane—“_

_“_ The Hulk is a freight train, Glenn, and you’re parking on the tracks.” The scientist half warned half threatened before walking off.

 

At some sort of rattling signal, the ‘outcasts’ stopped their assault on the helicopters and showed the group of humans into a cave system before sealing the entrance behind them with a giant boulder. And just in time too, as Steve’s enhanced hearing caught the sound of engines rumbling in nearby.

 

“Um, Darcy could you catch me up again?” Betty had outlined the bare details, only what was necessary…but he would _really_ like to know what was going on. He kept his hand on his shield, just in case.

 

“Long story short, I wasn’t the only one out in that desert when the gamma bomb went off.” She pet the head of a giant scorpion. “Yeah, missed you too Stinger.” He wondered if she named them, or if they were now smart enough to name themselves and communicate that to Darcy. Given how little he knew about gamma radiation, and Darcy’s tendency to name creatures she literally just met (case in point: the dog in Puente Antiguo) either was likely.

 

“Between these guys and the Asgardians, you need to start broadening your social circle, Darce.” Steve deadpanned.

 

“Says my World War II super-soldier boyfriend.” She smiled, lightly elbowing him in the ribs. “When the gamma bomb spliced our genes, we got a little lost in the circle of life, but the Outcasts have really been there for the Hulk and I.”

 

It occurred to Steve how little he actually knew about Darcy’s background, and what the hell she was actually doing in-between the gamma bomb and when they met in New York. A lot, to say the least, given her obviously close relationship with these creatures.

 

“Yeah, good to see you too, Briar. How’s the family?” She asked what was once a desert shrew. With a couple of squeaks and squeals, it started licking Darcy’s face like a puppy. She started giggling uncontrollably. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Nothing this gamma bombshell can’t handle.” Steve couldn’t help but smile.

 

He really was lucky to find a dame like her. Kind caring, and obviously open to all outcasts (proper noun or just in general), and those who were…something other than normal. Who else was willing to put up with an old relic like him? And not only put up with, actually stick around and go steady with him. Sure, their dates were broken more often than not with calls from Fury or some other responsibility, she seemed to take it in more or less stride, even if there was the occasional pouting.

 

Fury himself seemed to have laid off the Scarlet Hulk, apparently content to let Darcy’s secret identity remain a secret so long as she remained an auxiliary Avenger. (Though he had a sneaking suspicion the director had an idea of who she was). Hawkeye had explained to him once that SHIELD didn’t have the time, energy, or the resources to deal with everyone or everything on the planet that could be a threat. Only those who became _actively_ hostile were dealt with. And sometimes (just _sometimes_ ), if they were just patient, things had a way of working themselves out. Things like a man in a cave with a box of scraps taking out a global terrorism threat.

 

Things did have a way of working things out.  _(Just pretend to be okay and things will eventually be okay). (She's fine, she's safe, everything will be fine. She's happy, you're happy)._

 

Steve wasn't an idiot though, even the best laid plans went to hell when met with the enemy. So, if things didn't work, he'd just have to  _make_ them work.

 

* * *

 

Back at Gamma base, beaten and embarrassed, Major Glenn Talbot was on orders to keep a lookout for anything suspicious going on in or around gamma base.

 

“Who would be drawing that much power off the gamma reactor at this time of—“ Realization. _And that’s what us Hulkbusters call ‘busting’._ He went on the comms. “Security, Talbot here, meet me at Dr. Ross’ lab.”

 

They should’ve known that Betty would try something. Despite the millions of dollars in property damage, years of separation and even seeing the monstrosity in action, she still refused to give up on Bruce Banner. They say love is blind but this was just ridiculous. And Captain Rogers...well, with being pulled into a new century, an unhealthy attachment to one of his team would only be expected. Still, the Hulkbusters wouldn't exactly be thrilled going up against the greatest soldier on earth. With any luck, the Captain would come to his senses and see that helping the Hulk was all but an act of betrayal against his country. He would be back on their side.

The  _right_ side.

* * *

 

Steven Grant Rogers was a man of action. He was never one to stand by when there was something that could be done, damn the consequences.

 

He knew that. Darcy knew that. Hell, he bet the entire _country_ knew that. But right here and now, there was nothing for him to contribute, no enemies to be punched or strategies to be drawn up. Thankfully, most of his military career consisted of ‘hurry up and wait’, so he could be plenty patient. Didn’t mean he liked it.

 

After sneaking into Gamma Base through a hole in the basement (thank you, Drill Bill) they parted with their Outcast friends and somehow managed to sneak the party into Betty’s lab, the scientist herself having memorized the movements and timings of the guards to a T. Steve couldn’t have planned it better himself (this was Betty’s operation, not his, she was the one in charge).

 

While Darcy and Betty were busy going over the equipment and getting everything prepared, his job was to keep the Hulk from doing anything rash. ( _Playing babysitter while the women are doing the important work)_ Somehow, it was both a harder and easier job than it sounded.

 

The Hulk, obviously unused to being out when there wasn’t an enemy to be fought, was looking around, and growling under his breath. “Easy, _easy_ big fella, all you’re going to have to do is step right up there and let us wash that Banner--“ he kept forgetting the B word was a big no-no, as Hulk snarled and mad a move to punch the nutrient bath. “Whoa, whoa,” he grabbed Hulk’s wrist and gently, _gently_ , kept it away from the expensive looking equipment. “Get a grip, Hulk. Think of Betty,” the green giant’s gaze immediately went to the brunette scientist, “Think of Scarlet. Do it for us, your _friends._ ”

 

That realization actually came as a bit of as surprise to Steve. After Bucky, the Commandoes, everything…he didn’t think he’d be able to find anyone in this whole new world. Yet here he was, with the girl he loved more than anything, and a big green goliath he proudly called his friend and teammate. Bruce Banner was a hero, anyone who said otherwise would have to deal with him and the rest of the Avengers.

 

“Gamma capacitors all synched up,” Darcy announced, coming back into view. “On your mark doc, we’re good to go.”

 

“Are you ready, Hulk?” Betty asked. He made an affirmative sounding noise, then stepped up on the dais, looking unsure, but ready for whatever would come. She lowered down the glass tank. “I’ll be right here,” she reassured again. She looked to Darcy.

 

“Initiating stasis sleep.” The lab assistant pushed a button, and sparks trickled around the Hulk’s body. He growled at them, but was soon silent, looking asleep on his feet.

 

_Hulk, Bruce…my prayers are with you both._

He went over, placing a hand on Darcy’s shoulder in reassurance. “Here we go,” Betty steeled herself, “flooding chamber.” A blue liquid quickly filled up the tank, and as it completely surrounded the Hulk, Dr. Ross activated something else. “Achieving Gamma mitosis.”

 

He…wasn’t entirely sure what that was, but by her tone, it was what they wanted. Suddenly, the liquid in the tank started to turn green and…well, for lack of a better term, Bruce Banner _melted_ out of the Incredible Hulk, the two men floating there side by side.

 

It was… _amazing,_ to say the least.

 

“It’s working,” Darcy sighed in relief, and he put an arm around her waist as she leaned into him. He placed a kiss on the top of her head before smiling into her hair.

 

“We’re almost there,” Betty said, mostly to herself.

 

That’s when, of course, the shit hit the fan.

 

The door was blasted inwards, Talbot and four others standing there with what was probably the latest in Hulkbuster tech. “This is an unauthorized experiment, pull the plug.”

 

“Glenn, no!” Betty exclaimed. Moving Darcy behind him, Steve took his shield off his back and threw it at the overhead walkway. The steel bridge was no match for the vibranium disk, and it collapsed downward, blocking the entryway. For now, at least.

 

Unfortunately, one Major Glenn Talbot managed to weasel his way into the lab anyway.

 

“Where’s the Hulk, in there?” Talbot asked, gun raised.

 

“Glenn, you don’t know what you’re doing, or what’s going on.” Dr. Ross tried to reason. “Don’t ruin this, _please_.”

 

“I don’t know what you’ve done.” Then just _ask_ her, you idiot. “But now you’ll have to live with the consequences.” Knowing what he was going to do, Steve tried to tackle the Major before he shot the control panel but it was too late.

 

“We’re loosing the imaging matrix, stasis generator offline!” Again, wasn’t sure what either of those things were, but by her tone, it was bad.

 

“Without that they’ll drown in there!” Darcy looked conflicted, obviously willing to compromise her own identity to keep her friend from dying, but—

 

But he wasn’t going to force her to make that decision. “Not on my watch, they won’t.” He promised. Steve considered shattering the glass with his shield, but that would only do more harm than good. _Come on master strategist, do your thing._ He looked up to where the glass had been initially lowered down.

 

Though he wasn't a genius level intellect, never able to come close to Dr. Banner or Stark, Steve Rogers wasn't stupid. _Give me a lever big enough and a place to stand, and I will move the Earth._ Lucky for him, Steve didn’t need to move the earth, just an exceedingly heavy glass-like container. Well, he already had a lever. Crawling up the equipment to where it was, and pulling with all his might, Steve managed to get it open, spilling the nutrient bath water all over Betty’s laboratory, but keeping Bruce and the Hulk from dying.

 

“I don’t believe this.” He heard Talbot say, and restrained himself from yelling at the prick. Securing the cables so the glass chamber wouldn’t fall on them, he jumped back down to the lower level.

 

Bruce’s body collapsed, but was quickly caught by Betty and Darcy. The doctor checked her beloved’s vital signs. _Come on Banner, come on! You’ve gone through too much to go out like this!_

 

“There’s no pulse!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't noticed, I've been trying to write Steve with PTSD and other assorted issues that come from the craptastic life he's lead (military, being frozen, waking up in the future, all my friends are dead, etc). Only instead of distancing himself off like he does in the movies, he's tying himself more and more to Darcy, not to the point of obsession, but more like he's focussing on her so he doesn't have to focus on all the horrible crap in his life.
> 
> Except, I don't have any experience writing angst, PTSD, or other things of the sort, so I'm always open to suggestions, critiques and the like! Let me know how I can improve.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy the story and will stick around for more!


	5. Was that Really Necessary?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, there's a capture, a breakout, Darcy should probably consider getting a haircut, and is good at taking a beating.
> 
> Thanks for the reviews!

“Steve, grab the AED, it’s by the entrance!” Betty ordered, and Steve complied without hesitation. “Darcy, you know CPR right?”

 

“Certified.”

 

“Good.” And the doctor of cellular biology started doing chest compressions. Talbot stood off to the side, being useless as always.

 

“C’mon Bruce,” Darcy said, blowing air down his throat. “ _Breathe.”_

 

Just then, another hole was blown into the side of the wall. A group of armed soldiers, this time lead by Thunderthighs himself, stood ready and at arms. “Was that really necessary?” Darcy sighed to no one in particular. Seriously, when a _Hulk_ is marveling at the lack of restraint, be scared.

 

And to her further marvel, Talbot actually ordered the men to stand down. Who know the toy soldier was capable of making good decisions? That was when Ross came in.

 

“The Hulk? Banner? How did he--? What--? _Talbot_ , what the hell is going on?”

 

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Steve shot with contempt as he prepared the AED “is that the major here interrupted the experiment before it was done.”

 

“The Hulk’s in stasis, but Bruce’s heart arrested.” Betty further explained. “Clear!” The scientist’s body jolted, but no response.

 

“They were performing an unauthorized experiment sir, this is your responsibility, Betty, and this is going to cost you Rogers.” Talbot snarled.

 

“Deduct it from my backpay.” He growled out. _You brain dead fucker._ Another jolt, and this time the machine was able to pick up a heartbeat.

 

“Confine Banner to the base infirmary,” Ross ordered. “And quarantine that monster.” He pointed to the Hulk. Unnoticed by everyone, one of the soldiers snuck off.

 

“My Leader, I have a report…”

 

_“An experiment? Why wasn’t I informed?”_

“It was off the books, completely unsanctioned. They physically separated the Hulk from Bruce Banner.”

_“…”_

_“…”_

_“…”_

_“Say what?”_

“The Hulk still lives, my Leader. Dr. Banner is still to be determined.”

Back in his ‘lair’ in the dessert, Dr. Samuel Sterns thought this over. With the Hulk’s simple mind unencumbered by Banner’s consciousness, he was an even better test subject than before. He was half tempted to send Dr. Ross a thank you letter.

 

But, more importantly, he’d have to finish the energy siphon.

 

“Good. Continue monitoring the situation and keep me updated.”

 

_“Of course, my leader.”_

 

* * *

 

“Why’s life so bloody complicated?” Steve sighed as he saw the Hulk—his teammate, as much as Banner was—loaded up onto some sort of restraining device. Not that it mattered much, as the Hulk was still asleep, in stasis, whatever. “What’s it gonna be like when you wake up?” He continued to ask, more to himself. “Will you remember me? Betty?”

 

“We’re not waking him up.” Ross informed. “Ever. He’s going to be kept in cryostasis for a very, very long time.” (In a HYDRA base somewhere, the Winter Soldier just sneezed).

 

“What?” He seethed, knowing he probably shouldn’t be surprised.

 

“The Hulk may be separated from Banner but he is _of_ Banner. He helped save the world, in case you forgot that part. And even if you did, he still has the right to live, like anyone.”

 

“And all your concerns are unwarranted, anyway,” Betty supplied. “If this really worked, then his mind should be an absolute blank.”

 

“Is that supposed to put me at ease, sweetheart? That means he’s even more uncontrollable than ever.”

 

“You’re missing the point, _father_.”

 

“We could start over, rehabilitate him, train him, educate—“

 

“As much as I want you to win the Nobel Prize someday Betts, this isn’t that day. I trusted Banner to be able to keep a relative hold on him, but _without_ Banner, I’m not letting this menace walk the earth.”

 

“Ugh, what is it with you people?” Darcy groaned. But this wasn’t the time for moaning and groaning, this was the time for _action_. If the Pentagon had their way, she’d probably be spliced up and shipped out right besides her green-jeaned cousin. And even then, that wasn’t going to happen on her watch.

 

Blissfully unnoticed by all but Steve, Darcy snuck out. They locked eyes, and he gave the smallest fraction of a nod. He’d keep them occupied. “Then what about _for_ Banner’s sake? Keep him around long enough in case anything went wrong—“

 

As expected, Ross didn’t take it. Within half an hour, the Hulk was loaded up and shipped out for parts unknown.

 

In the base infirmary, Betty was watching over her beloved Bruce in a sort of twisted Sleeping Beauty. Unfortunately, True Love’s Kiss wouldn’t solve anyone’s problems. At least though, the hardest part was over. All they had to do now was wait, and they were _so_ close. _Please, Bruce don’t give up._ She smoothed his hair away from his face. _Don’t leave me._

 

“Hi Betty,” Steve walked into the infirmary.

 

“Steve.” She greeted with a nod. It was a bit strange for her, her father had always talked about Captain Rogers and the super-soldier program when she was young. Hearing about Dr. Erskine had been part of what originally inspired her to go into science. (She should’ve realized what father was trying to do, but hindsight’s 20/20).

 

“No change?” He asked.

 

“Not, uh, not yet,” she cleared her throat. “His body’s been traumatized. It’ll have to recover in it’s own time.” He looked guilty about something. Maybe for being the first successful super soldier, the one everyone was trying to emulate? (Nah, if anyone was to blame it would be Dr. Erskine for starting this mess.)

 

“Betty, um,” he fidgeted a bit. “Something’s happened.”

 

“What? What’s happened? Is it the Hulk… did he?”

 

“He’s alive, for now. But that’s not what I have to tell you.”

 

“They’ll lock him away and throw away the key.” Betty muttered, looking distraught.

 

“Not if my girl has anything to say about it.” He placed a hand on Betty’s shoulder.

 

“You mean she…?”

 

“Darcy’s used to being underestimated.”

 

“You think she’ll be able to get him back?”

 

“Oh, _yeah_.” His grin was positively wicked. Betty responded with a puckish smile of her own.

* * *

 

_Military Convoy, several miles down the road_

 

Darcy may not be The Star Spangled Man, but she definitely Had A Plan.

 

Hulked out and hanging onto the underside of one of the trucks, she waited until they were far enough so that reinforcements wouldn’t be close at hand before she kicked out the tires. While the convoy was sputtering, she punched her way through the metal floor to where they were keeping the Hulk.

 

Knocking out the automated driver (they’d gotten smarter about who transported what after the Harlem incident), when a hole was blasted into the roof and she pulled up by her ponytail. (Damn her long hair).

 

It was one of the two drones guarding the roof. “Sorry, dude, but I gotta get rid of the excess baggage.” She threw one of the drones into one of the two flying ones trailing behind the truck. The other one needed a jump punch to knock it off, but not before shooting out the other tires.

 

Looking back, she saw the tuck skid, before going off the side of the road. “Typical,” she muttered. Looking down, behind her, she noticed two things. One, that they were climbing up a lovely mountainside road. And two, the truck was spinning about that lovely road, crashing into the guardrail before going off the edge and exploding in a fiery blaze. She wasn’t concerned though, this was _Hulk_. He’d shrugged off far worse.

* * *

 

_Gamma Base_

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Mayday signal, the automated transport vehicle has been attacked—make that destroyed.”

 

“Put together a level one strike force, if that mindless Hulk wakes up…heaven help us all.”

 

Unbeknownst to them, the All-Father was rarely so obliging.

* * *

 

Darcy jumped down, moving wreckage out of her way to get to Hulk. She sighed at relief at seeing a big green fist going through the side of the truck.

 

The growling was less encouraging, but not unexpected.

 

“Hey Hulk, it’s okay.” He responded by punching her in the face. Okay, that was unexpected. “Hulk! It’s me, your friend, Scarlet?” The green giant’s eyes stared down at her, uncomprehending.

 

“Fucking shit.” She spat out before he punched her in the chest. The hit sent her flying into the side of the canyon.

 

Darcy really wished she would get fucked by something other than life. A certain blonde super-soldier, for example.

 

Satisfied that his enemy had been defeated, the Hulk roared, and then jumped away. (From his post at the Bifrost, Heimdall watched, and grew concerned for the people of Midgaurd.)

 

* * *

 

_Gamma Base_

Back at Gamma Base, Betty and Steve were growing concerned for the Hulks, as it seemed that every single helicopter in the place was flying out into the desert.

 

“Something’s gone wrong.” Betty surmised from their spot at the window.

 

“Well then, Captain America is just going to have to make it right.” He walked over to Bruce’s bedside. “If you don’t mind gents, you’re really starting to smother me.” He pulled out the curtain, blocking their view.

 

When the guards pulled the curtain back, all they saw was Dr. Ross, and an open window. “Lovely night, isn’t it?” She commented. “Oh, loose something?

 

Quick and effective, Steve grabbed his shield, a helmet, and a motorcycle full of gas.

 

 _Don’t worry doll,_ he thought as he rode out into the night. _I’m coming._

 

* * *

 

A few miles away, Darcy forced herself to stand back up. She was good at taking a beating. She knew how to pick herself back up. ( _Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it_ ).

 

 _Oh dear god,_ she thought, seeing the Hulk roaring in the distance. _What have we done?_


	6. What B-Movie did we stumble into?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, Scarlet Hulk can jump hella high, Steve secretly wants to be in the X-games, and Hulk...hulks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you going through finals right now—I know your pain. Hope this at least gives you a little break.
> 
> I own nothing. Enjoy!

The small town of Vista Verde was in chaos. People packed what few things they couldn’t part from hastily into suitcases and pushed them and relatives into cars before speeding off as fast and as far as they were able.

 

It came over the radio less than an hour ago. Something big and something _bad_ was coming. And all they could do was run.

 

(But even that might not be good enough).

 

The beast leapt up onto a firetruck, smashing it under his heel, and let out a ferocious roar.

 

* * *

 

“Bruce!”

 

“Betty, where—where am I? What happened?!” The good doctor woke up in a haze, rubbing at his face.

 

“We finally did it. We used to nutrient bath to—“

 

“It worked?! You mean the Hulk and I—we’ve been separated?!” He couldn’t look any happier if you’d told him world peace had been achieved and world hunger eradicated. He was so joyous there were tears in his eyes.

 

“Yes!” Betty was close to tears herself. “You and the Hulk, you’re free.” They embraced.

 

“Free,” he whispered, getting used to the concept and not entirely able to wrap his head around it. “Oh Betty, you did it! All these years, throughout the horror, you’ve never given up on me, and now it’s over! Where’s Darcy and Steve? I have to thank them.” He looked around, as if super-soldier and Hulkess were just out of sight.

 

“They’re both out, no way Darcy could let them take away the—“

 

“—The what? Betty,” he gripped his love’s shoulders. “What did they do?” There was a moment of deliberation, barely a millisecond where she considered lying to him, or simply omitting the truth. But that millisecond quickly passed. No way she could do that to Bruce.

 

“You don’t understand, they were going to lock up the Hulk and throw away the key! You know Darcy, you know how stubborn she is. What she’d do for her friends.”

 

He sighed, rubbing his face again. “I’m beginning to figure that out, and Steve?”

 

“Something went wrong, so the Captain went out to find them. But, Bruce…The Hulk…he’s on a rampage.” He tried to get up, but Betty pushed him back into bed.

 

“It never ends, does it?” He snarled. Not at her ( _never at Betty_ ).

 

* * *

 

_In our lead story, the Hulk continues to cut a brutal path of total destruction through the desert towns of New Mexico. Stoneridge—_

General Ross contacted Talbot. “What’s your ETA to Stoneridge?”

 

“Thirty minutes sir.”

“Make it fifteen, or it’s your brass, Major. Use whatever force necessary,” (as if that wasn’t business as usual) “but drive that creature out of that town and subdue him.”

 

“Understood sir.”

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Darcy could see the fires from half a mile away.

 

“Man, he’s rocking and wrecking big time.” Darcy sighed, knowing she was probably in for the fight of her life. Because, when you got down to it, no one really wanted to fight the Hulk. Well, no one with a shred of sanity, at least. He was stronger than fuck, healed super quick, and never tired. And you would, no matter how strong you may be. Everyone tired out, eventually.

 

As would she, which was why instead of running after the Hulk, she’d been jumping _hella_ high to go after him. She may not be able to fly, but this was a good second.

 

* * *

 

_Also Meanwhile…_

“He’s big, green, loud, angry and featured on every news network in the country. So naturally you say you can’t locate the Hulk!” Sterns demanded of the gamma mutates. (You see, like Sterns, there had been other individuals willing to do whatever it took to keep their edge, or gain the strength of a god. And in return for his services, all the doctor had asked for was a few…favors here and there).

 

“ _Lousy reception out here, sir, we’re barely hearing you_.”

 

“No excuses! Just rally your men to these coordinates and capture the Hulk!” He demanded with ever increasing volume. He had been so close to completing his gamma siphon when he was oh-so _rudely_ interrupted by their call. Everything _had_ to be ready before the Hulk arrived.

 

He glanced back at the new broadcast.

 

And if the Hulk arrived with a lovely Scarlet compatriot…well, the more the merrier.

 

* * *

 

“HULK!” Darcy called, and he turned. She’d _finally_ caught up to him. “Hulk, come on it’s me, Scarlet? Your friend, Scar?” There was a moment—just a moment—where Darcy caught a glimpse of the old Hulk, the big green marshmallow she knew and loved as he cocked his head to the side and he looked like…like he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. But that moment passed big green monster merely snarled, and threw a monster truck at her. (Maybe the universe was trying to tell her something?) She managed to duck under it as the hunk of metal whoshed past her head.

 

“Don’t mean to be mean, big green,” she jumped and kicked him in the---okay bicep, but she was aiming for his face! “But we gotta get you outta Dodge before the Hulkbusters ride in.”

 

The Scarlet Hulk was going for a strike and retreat style to draw him out—that was before she didn’t retreat far enough away. He managed to grab her ankle (please don’t play puny god, _please don’t play puny god!_ ) and after spinning her around, threw her into the fire station.

 

“Darce!” She heard a voice call out.

 

“Steve!” Holding out her arm, she felt a hand tightly grip over her forearm, and she swung herself up to and was sitting on the back of a motorcycle, holding onto a very familiar shoulder-to-hip ratio.

 

“I got you doll, catch me if you can!” Steve bounced the shield off of Hulk’s back and caught it. Gaining the creature’s attention, the Star-Spangeld man rode them out of town.

 

“You got a plan?!” Steve asked. She looked at him with wide eyes (grateful he was too focused on driving to see her). She was hoping he had a plan.

 

“Uh…smashing?”

 

“Smashing usually works. I am usually in favor of smashing. But that’s not going to work right now.” Darcy turned around and watched the Hulk chasing them.

 

“Drive around really fast and hope he tires out?”

 

“Works for me!” He agreed, revving up the engine and speeding them off into the night, a green giant on their heels.

 

In less than five minutes they were away from the highway and into the canyons, with Steve doing X-games worthy jumps and other tricks off the mesa walls when the saw it.

 

A giant brown vehicle, (more like a mobile fortress, it was easily as big a small house) rolled up and an ugly green hulk knock-off stepped out. “Insolent sand-flea!” the guy who was probably the leader of the group rasped out. Scanning the canyon walls, Captain America and Scarlet Hulk saw more of the mean greens flanking them from both sides.

 

“Ugh-oh. Gamma gridlock.” She groaned


	7. B-movie part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, I continue to be not-so-good at fight scenes, Steve is love's bitch (and totally man enough to admit it), and the Leader is finally proportionate again.

The Hulk snarled, and Steve revved up, looking for a more strategic way to get out of this—(or at least, a strategic was to not get fucked nine ways to Sunday).

 

A rocket landed at Hulk’s feet, didn’t even phase him. “Get him!” Before the one closest to him could reload, he punched the side of the canyon wall, destabilizing the ground the shooter was standing on and punching him out as he came hurdling down.

 

The knock-offs were firing at him again (weird laser guns, at least _someone_ got the message that bullets don’t work). He grabbed a boulder that had been loosened from the wall and was about to throw it at them when one of the blasts sent him hurdling back.

 

“Gamma cables!” _Gamma what now?_

 

Five metallic cables, gleaming with purple electrical(?) energy reach out of the mobile fortress and wind themselves around Hulk’s arms, legs, and neck, and actually succeeded in dragging him towards the enemy.

 

Darcy got off the bike. “You get Hulk, I’ll get the rest?”

 

“You got it, doll.” He nodded. She jumped and he rode off the mesa as one, him throwing his shield and severing the five chords while Darcy was making sure one of the others

 

“Yes,” Darcy celebrated. Then, helicopters arrived. “Oh, COME ONE!” she growled.

 

And the ground forces too, using the military’s go-to response and just firing at anything green and colorful.

 

As the two forces exchanged fire, actual flames and explosions danced over the surrounding landscape. The gammas managed to take out a couple of air forces and tank with their artillery and---holy fuck were those robots? Large metallic robots were exchanging fire with scantily clad green men.

 

What B-movie did his life turn into? Steve couldn’t help but think as they were stuck in the middle of this (as always). The Hulks was still fighting off the Gamma knock-offs, and Steve was helping out his best girl before one managed to get the drop on him, knocking him off his bike and onto the ground.

 

Hulk was cornered into going into the moving fortress. Once inside, he was stunned down using the same purple-pink energy from the gamma cables earlier.

 

Outside, they weren’t fairing much better. After shooting down the last of the air units, the gamma knock-offs had forced the army to all but retreat, and were gathering together to pull out. And Scarlet Hulk? She was getting _real_ tired of these bargain brand hulks thinking they could mess with her friends!

 

Knowing that Steve would be fine, Scarlet Hulk got up and hitched a ride on the ugly hunk of metal.

 

Grabbing ahold of the fender, she let herself be dragged along for the ride, and prayed that they wouldn’t notice her for awhile. She wasn’t so lucky, as less than half a minute later, she got a face full of the same purple energy that knocked out Hulk, and collapsed into the desert sand.

 

Coming to minutes later, Steve bolted up, ready to get back in the thick of it. “Scarlet!” He yelled, fear clutching the super-soldier’s heart as he moved to pick up his bike, but instead got a pistol shoved in his face.

 

“Not so fast, you’re coming with us, _Captain_.” Talbot snarled. Steve didn’t even try to hide his disdain—or his worry, as he still couldn’t see Darcy or the Scarlet Hulk anywhere.

 

(Thankfully, Darcy had been dragged out far enough away that when a clawed hand reached out and dragged her into the shadows, none were any the wiser.)(Unfortunately, Steve was none the wiser either).

 

* * *

 

 

_Back at Gamma Base…_

 

Betty was going over Bruce’s charts when her father walked in. “Banner.” He said, his voice stern, and just a decibel below shouting.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Father, now’s not the time. He needs rest.”

 

Bruce grabbed her wrist. “It’s okay Betty.” He glanced over to Ross, his gaze hardening considerably. “What’s on your mind, General? Here to arrest me like you did Rogers?” That’s right, he heard. The guards in front of his doorway couldn’t shut up about it.

 

“Talbot radioed in. Some sort of…Gamma freaks managed to capture the Hulk.” Now _that_ worsened Bruce’s condition, leaving the scientist clutching at his chest, and leaning back in bed. But as always, Bruce swallowed the pain, and forced himself to continue.

 

“What do you want me to do? Just because I was the first gamma freak doesn’t mean that I’m invited to the parties.” Betty bit her lip, looking guilty.

 

“Sterns.” She said.

 

“What?”

 

“Dr. Samuel Sterns. There had been rumors…nothing substantiated, certainly. But after meeting us he,” she cleared her throat. “He _changed_.” And by her tone, not in the good way. More like the Gamma way.

 

“What rumors?” The General pressed.

 

“I thought it was nothing, but if what I’ve heard is true, then he’s been marketing a knock off super soldier serum on the black market. Guaranteed to make you stronger, faster, more durable—“

 

“Well, that explains the gamma freaks.” Ross muttered, crossing his arms.

 

“Sterns? You’ve got to…” he coughed, trying to get out of bed. “Stop Sterns. He’s _obsessed_ with the Hulk. You can’t _imagine_ the kind of damage he could do. He’s more curious--“ Bruce groaned in pain, collapsing back into bed “—than careful.”

 

“There’s just no end to this Gamma Pandora’s Box you opened up Banner.” Bruce was tempted to say _that WE opened_ , but found it wouldn’t be worth the effort.

 

Ross took a few steps away and got on the base phone. “This is Thaddeus Ross. Activate all recon units and connect me to whatever satellite’s in position. I want those gamma freaks found, and _fast._ ” He ordered out. “Probably lives depending on it.”

 

* * *

 

_“Darcy Elizabeth Lewis—will you make me the happiest man alive, and do me the honor of being my wife?” Darcy looked down at him, with the biggest, most beautiful smile he had ever seen on her before._

_“Steve—“ She was cut off by the sound of heavy artillery, and the tree they were resting under was blown to splinters._

_“Of all the times—“_

_“Let’s go!” She dragged him by the hand, and they did what Steve Rogers swore he would never do. They ran away from a fight, however the landscape changed and not in the good way. He hadn’t been watching the footing, and they were now at the edge of a cliff._

_The canyon turned into a familiar star-spangled suit. Captain America brushed Darcy off his shoulder while keeping a firm hold on Steve Rogers._

_“Darcy!” He screamed as she fell into the abyss. He heard her clothes tear, and she emerged as the Scarlet Hulk. The full force of the US military on her left, and the Leader’s army of gamma freaks on her right. Only instead of focusing on each other, their sole focus was her._

_She was surrounded on all sides, she may be a one-woman army, but rarely could any army successfully win a war on two fronts. They were converging in on her and no matter how much he raged, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t do anything to help her._

_He lost sight of her, heard her scream, then--_

 

Steve Rogers woke up, sweating bullets. After being released from the stockade, he had decided to try and squeeze a nap in until Darcy came back or there was any news. That was obviously a mistake.

 

It was one of his worst fears. That the Scarlet Hulk would be declared to be too big of a liability, too much of a risk to be allowed to be free. She would be hunted down relentlessly, endlessly. Eventually, he would be asked, nay _ordered_ to go after her. Steve Rogers would be forced to choose between her or his duty, his responsibilities.

 

The scary part was—he knew _exactly_ what he’d choose. ( _Fuck everyone else, he loved her_.)

 

Forcing himself not to think about it, he decided to go upstairs and check on Bruce.

 

“Where’s Darcy?” Steve asked.

 

“Isn’t she with you?” Bruce shot back.

 

“No, we found the Hulk, we were boxed in by Talbot and these gamma warriors, and then,” he scratched the back of his head. “I was only out for a few minutes, but it still bugs me to not know what happened, or where she is.” In that moment, he was not the Captain, not a member of the Avengers, nor a soldier or a man out of time; he was the Scarlet Hulk’s boyfriend, and his fear and worry for his love tore at him fiercely.

* * *

 

_At the Secret Lair…_

Finally, after months of preparation, planning, and careful calculations, the gamma siphon was ready, the the subject prepared (and kept under _heavy_ stasis).

 

He was almost giddy with glee, for the hour of his triumph was at hand.

 

The Leader’s plan was simple, but in it’s simplicity lied absolute genius. He was going to siphon off the Incredible Hulk’s gamma energy (and the god-like strength that came with it) and place it into his own body. Simply put, his body size would match his head size.

 

The Hulk’s personal bioenergy and DNA was radically different now that he was separated from Banner, keeping his great gamma powers from transferring. No matter, as he was now able to think on a level most normal humans could only dream of, he naturally had more than a dozen back up plans.

 

“Computer, initiate, back up Protocol Alpha.”

 

 _“Acknowledged, my Leader.”_ Leader started to feel darkness at the edges of his vision, but he did not fear it, nor did he fight it. He welcomed it.

 

When he blinked his eyes open, he was filled with exhilaration. Looking down, he smiled and laughed. As he could not transfer the Hulk’s strength into his own body, he would simple transfer his mind into the Hulk’s body. A rather simple procedure once you got down to it, re-writing the behemoths’ simple neural pathways to make them his own.

 

Now, conquering the world was inevitable at this point, but how to start? _Gamma Base, Banner_ , a part of him demanded. A…primal part.

 

Revenge was a sucker’s game, though he had to admit, the plan did hold a certain…appeal. Perhaps it was leftover base memories from the Hulk’s puny mind, but the Leader was practically salivating at the thought of smashing that base.

 

But first, he _had_ to change out of the purple trousers.

* * *

 

_In the dessert…_

 

While the Scarlet Hulk’s transformations were usually voluntary, and not caused by stubbing her toe or oh-so pesky alien invasions as she’d found out, there was a trait she did share with her big green cousin. When utterly worn out, the Christmas-themed smashers shrunk down into their convenient travel size. Which was why Pinchers the giant scorpion, was easily able to carry his friend, Scarlet Hulk, down to the Outcast’s home cave so easily.

 

It was located in an underground chasm next to a fresh spring. They had to work a bit to find food, but the Outcasts knew that a source of freshwater in the desert was a commodity to not be taken lightly.

 

Placing their friend and fellow Outcast Scarlet Hulk on a smooth rock by the spring water, Salazar first checked her pulse, then dropped her arm—no response. None among them were exactly doctors, but all knew that this wasn’t good.

 

But, they wouldn’t give up. Outcasts looked after their own, no matter the cost.


	8. Battle for Gamma Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, there is a battle, the Hulk is nobody's bitch, and at least two of the Joint Chiefs of Staff are probably going to be driven to drink when they see the bill.
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Laughing maniacally as he jumped his way across the dessert, the Leader was quite enjoying his newfound strength. And his preferred wardrobe choices, having disposed of the Hulk’s garish purple trousers for something more his style.

 

“The Hulk? He’s _here?_ ” For fuck’s sake. Entering in a new number, he called for back up. “Full order security, give me _everything_ you can spare.”

 

“Here me now _puny_ humans,” he laughed, finally tall and strong enough to say that. “Surrender Bruce Banner at once,” the guards at the main gate exchanged looks of confusion before he smashed it wide open. “Or be struck down by the might of your new leader.”

 

The only reason the machine gun knocked him back was out of surprise. _Invincibility_ , he remembered. So when the five tanks started rolling up o him, he just got excited. _And I shall wear it so VERY well._

 

Lifting up a man hole cover, he threw it like a Frisbee, decapitating two of the tanks. “Leader smash!” he knocked away the grenades like flies. “Leader bash!” He gave a savage laugh before having a moment of self-realization. “Wait, did I just say that?” And started looking concerned.

 

But with the concern came the momentary distraction as three automated mini-guns took to opportunity to lock onto him. Shooting as one, they knocked the attacking body-snatcher through a nearby cement wall.

 

He growled again, and picked up a large chunk of debris. “It’s not nice to fool with a force of nature.” He growled, and took out the watch tower where the mini-guns were most likely being controlled. It exploded into black smoke.

 

 _That tears it_.

 

From his room in the infirmary, Bruce Banner had been watching all of this with a heart filled with dread and guilt. He was dressed now, and ready to meet his fate. “Bruce, don’t do this.” Betty asked, not wanting to give into the demands of a true monster, “there’s nothing you can—“

 

“I’m the one he wants, Betty.”

 

“You are _not_ going to just give yourself up to that maniac.” Betty ordered, authority filling her voice that would make normal soldiers involuntarily snap to attention. But Bruce wasn’t a soldier.

 

“Don’t you get it?!” he tried to reason. “Either I go with him and save everyone’s life, or” he breathed, struggling for calm. “Or he levels Gamma base and takes me anyway.” His head was hung in shame, but his decision stood firm.

 

Betty took his hands in hers. “Bruce, you won’t survive this.”

 

“Betty,” he hugged her, one last time. “I don’t have a choice.” He breathed in the smell of her hair.

 

“And neither do I,” she said softly. “Guards!” She commanded as Bruce went for the door. The two armed men who had been keeping vigil over Bruce’s room since the mess had started came in and grabbed him.

 

“Betty. What-what are you doing?”

 

“Saving us _and_ you, from yourself.” She explained. Knowing there was always a choice—and a third option, if Peggy Carter had taught her anything. “Doctor Banner is _not_ to leave this room. By order of General Ross.” She commanded. The guards nodded, and got Bruce away from the door.

 

“Betty—“

 

“I’m sorry, Bruce.” She sighed, locking the door behind her as she left. Bruce stared at it in horror, sure that his love had doomed them all.

 

* * *

 

Outside, the base was in chaos. Every solider on base had some experience dealing with the Hulk in some way shape or form, it was why they were chosen. But this? This was something they had _never_ seen before.

 

Growling, Leader Hulk ripped the base’s electrical wires out by the pole, and waving it around like a frustrated toddler with an oversized bat trying to hit the T-ball before crashing it down on the plane hangar.

 

 _All personnel, evacuate hangar,_ a voice over the comm system advised as the tower came crashing through the roof.

 

“Randevous at Alpha Emergency Bunker.” Ross told the officers by them as they evacuated. But he stayed behind. It was time this old soldier finally took things into his own hands.

 

As Leader Hulk growled and yelled, the last two tanks came defiantly forward. Catching the rockets mid-air, the Hulk put them together in his hands, leading to a deafening explosion that didn’t even scratch him. As the tank operators evacuated, Hulk picked up the two brown shells and smashed them together, it becoming more and more apparent who was actually in control as he threw around fuel gallons like Legos and bashed a small helicopter against the wall.

 

The area quickly set on fire, causing the Leader to again, laugh maniacally as he jumped to the roof of the next building. Causing him to see what he was looking for. “Well, hello there _puny Banner_.” His voice rumbled deep as he caught sight of the scientist in one of the main building’s windows, struggling with the two men that held him. But another thing caught the Hulk’s attention.

 

“Hulk hate machine!” He declared, memories of the agony of the first transformation—the Hulk’s ‘birth’, filled his mind. “MACHINE HATE HULK!” He screamed again, but it took a higher pitch as Sterns was back at the wheel. What the hell was happening to him?! Those memories, they weren’t his! And, just as suddenly as he was in control, he was gone.

 

Bruce noticed this change from his window. “He’s attacking the Gamma Reactor.” The actual one. “If he destroys that, he’ll take out most of Nevada!”

 

“The General will handle it, Dr. Banner.” The guard tried to assure him. Like General Ross actually had a half-decent track record for handling these kinds of things.

 

“With so many lives at risk, that’s just not enough!”

 

Samuel Sterns as well, realized the kind of danger that the gamma reactor presented. “No!” he tried to stop, but only succeeded in getting the mouth back. “The Gamma Reactor—you’ll destroy us both!” The Hulk—either not listening, not caring, or just that self-assured in his own invincibility, didn’t listen, and continued smashing.

 

“The green steamroller’s on a kamikaze run,” the General spoke into a phone. “Evacuate the base.” He ordered, sure they would be carried out. Entering his late wife’s birthday into a keypad, he unlocked the base’s ultimate secret weapon.

 

As that was going down, Betty was doing her own observations of the Leader Hulk with a pair of binoculars, watching him smash one of the reactor’s fuel lines. Noting that Sterns seemed to be loosing all control of his rage, just like—

 

“HULK POUND PUNY TOY!”

 

“—Hulk?” Looking around, she then noticed the Army Jeep with the keys still inside. Most of the soldiers had evacuated by now, so surely no one would notice if she borrowed it.

 

As she was driving towards them, the Leader was still trying (and failing) to re-take control of the body, and stop the Hulk. The green behemoth had reached one of the exterior control panels, and was smashing every button and gauge he saw. The joined minds filled with the memories of the Frankenstein-like messy and disastrous birth.

 

“Machine bad!” Hulk surmised. “Hulk smash.”

 

“No! Don’t do it Leader!” Betty ordered, pulling up in the borrowed Jeep. “Fight it. Get control of the anger.”

  
“Ugh,” he groaned. “I can’t! It’s too—too primal!” Fine then.

 

“Hulk!” she addressed, getting out of the car. “Please, _look_ at me,” she asked, and the growling subsided. “You have to listen. It’s me, Betty.” She tried to jog his memory. “Your friend.” The Hulk seemed to be wracking his brain. “And if you destroy this reactor—this machine, you’ll destroy me too.” She explained. “Hulk?” She gently prompted.

 

Once again, memories that were not his flooded the Leader’s mind. Of Betty Ross taking the Hulk’s hand, of standing up to him, unafraid and gentle. A strange amalgamation of a maternal figure, a romantic interest, guardian and friend.

 

With one final roar, Hulk gave his control up. “Very,” the Leader gasped for air, “ _very_ clever, Dr. Ross. His anger, I can feel it subsiding, his control weakens.” Betty felt herself sigh in relief, taking deep breaths. “For _now_.” He amended. “I have to get out of here!” And leapt away.

 

“Stand down red alert,” Betty informed on the general broadcast channel. “And have Dr. Banner released from custody.” _Oh, Betty-girl_ , she sighed internally. _You have got one **major** fence to mend._

* * *

 

Back at his lab, Leader was thankful to be back in his body. It was weaker, sure, but his mind was back to it’s crystal clear and tip-top shape.

 

_Reminder: Stasis generator malfunctioning._

 

“—What?”

 

The Hulk got up, punched the Leader in the stomach and--Well, you know how that song and dance went already. Hulk smash, Hulk bash, hulk destroy anything in that underground lab with an electrical current and so on and so forth.

 

And the Leader ran out like a little bitch, swearing revenge and how he’d be back and blah blah blah.

 

The more interesting thing that was going on at the moment was in Ross’ vault at Gamma Base. He was in the middle of getting dressed for combat with the Exo-suit when he was interrupted by a call from Major Talbot.

 

“We’ve tracked the Hulk to a circular rock formation in Quadrant 12, but sir, I _must_ renew my objection to your—“

 

“Noted, and taken under advisement Major, but it’s time I finally faced down this mess that I made.” He said. “Now, keep those coordinates under tight security. I don’t want SHIELD sticking it’s nose into my business.” He ended the call.

 

It was then that someone else entered the vault. “What in Sam Hill are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh Mystery!
> 
> Who do you think is there?


	9. SNAFU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, fuckery is abound.
> 
> Not sure if I should up the rating given all the fucks I've given this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

As known strategist and general Man-with-a-Plan™, Steve knew it was only natural that Betty go to him for advice. And as said strategist, he only had one thing to say: “We’re fucked.”

 

“…excuse me?”

 

“That is my genuine analysis of the situation, we are _fucked._ ”

 

“And how exactly are we fucked?”

 

“Well, let’s see. Gamma base was all but trampled into dust, the backups of our _backups_ are depleted, General Ross hasn’t been seen so you know he’s up to something, and Scarlet Hulk hasn’t been seen or heard from since last night,”

 

“You’re right. We are fucked.” The scientist complied. They were saved from further analysis of said fuckery when one of the mother-fuckers who started this whole mess came by.

 

“Major.” Betty acknowledged, willing to put aside her ever growing distaste for her old acquaintance—for the moment. “Please tell me you have some good news.”

 

“Somewhat, we’ll be able to move back into Gamma Base soon, the reactor’s been stabilized and there are no immediate hazards,” though he pitied the Chief of Staff they had to foot the bill to, the poor man would most likely turn to drink if he hadn’t already.

 

* * *

 

Scarlet Hulk had woken up less than ten minutes ago, and immediately tried to get up and go after her friends. The Outcasts stopped her, intent on giving a full medical exam _and_ enforced bed rest before letting their sister walk out of there. If she got anything as Darcy Lewis, a quick Hulk-out would sort everything out. Injuries sustained as Hulk had no quick fix, and the gamma girl would just have to wait as her healing factor did its job.

 

Sal, the once-lizard took her temperature in the almost maternal gesture of putting his hand over her forehead.

 

“Stinger, I don’t think—“ the scorpion lightly brushed it’s pincer over her ribs. “OW! Okay, you’re right, maybe they’re a bit bruised.” There was a lot more of this ‘check-up’, that reminded Darcy of the time two of her little foster sisters tried to play doctor. The Outcasts were, at least, more gentle as they checked her heartbeat, tried to see if any of her bones were broken, and looked at her tonsils for some reason. “You know, I’m not so sure you guys are registered nurses,” she joked as they tried to wrap her up like an Egyptian mummy with bandages. Despite the hassle, she knew it was done with nothing but the best of intentions.

 

That was when another member of the Outcast family came by, and man Darcy was _glad_ to see him. “What’s the word hummingbird? Any sights or sounds of the Hulkster up in the overground?”

 

“Buzz Buzz Buzz”

 

“Yes, I know you’re a Wasp, but it’s just an expression.” How exactly could Darcy understand the Outcasts even though they spoke no human language? Well, just think of a certain Raccoon and Tree across the Galaxy. Or a smuggler and Wookie. Perhaps she just had good ears.

 

“Buzz Buzz Buzz.”

 

“The Leader, how’d he-? Never mind, so he attacked Gamma base and…?”

 

“Buzz Buzz Buzz.”

 

“Hulk started to re-assert himself. Can’t say I’m too surprised, no one but no one can tell the Hulk what to do—‘cept Betty, of course.” The Outcasts could agree to that.

 

“Bzzzz. Buzz Bzzz.”

 

“What? Armor? No way it’s Stark. So who’s the numbskull who actually thinks that they can defeat the Hulk?” Darcy asked. But even as she said that they all knew better, Outcasts and Scarlet knew that it was the very person who created him—Bruce Banner.

 

* * *

 

Less than twelve minutes later, the Hulk had finished his smashing of the Leader’s lab, and was caught face to face with a knock-off kind crab-looking Hulkbuster armor. The faceplate opened up. “Alright Hulk, it’s just you and me,” Bruce Banner promised. “To the very last.”

 

The Incredible Hulk growled, and the two circled each other like boxers in the ring. “Even separated from each other, we’re still at odds, aren’t we, Hulk?” Bruce said, saying what he was thinking because why not?

 

The green goliath made the first move, ramming into the exo-suit, and trying to punch Banner in the fae behind the ultra-glass faceplate.

 

Alright, if he was even gonna come _close_ to living through this, he’d have to start thinking like his old alter-ego.

 

 _Okay, usual growl._ He thought as he readied the projectile

 

Growl, check.

 

Scheduled jump, check. (Seriously, the Hulk was an  _excellent_ jumper)

 

He released the steel casing, releasing two arrows that wrapped a thick metal cable around the Hulk’s ankles like Junior Rodeo, and left him suspended upside down from the rock face. He had the green beast within his crosshairs, that which had ruined his life at his complete and total mercy.

* * *

 

Finding her father, Betty quickly removed the gag and found the key to the handcuffs on a nearby computer. The general had been handcuffed to the—well, it looked kind of like a radiator—and gaged

 

“Dad? Who—“

 

“Your no-good traitorous _boyfriend_ , that’s who.” Ross flexed his jaw. “He swiped the prototype exo-armor and went high-tailing after the Hulk!”

 

“Prototype exo-armor?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

 

“Star doesn’t own a patent on the concept.”

 

“I didn’t say anything.” Steve crossed his arms. “I have nothing to say.” Except a continuous ‘Captain America is disappointed in you’ look.

 

As usual, Betty was more worried about Bruce, out there on his own, in the metaphorical belly of his own beast.

* * *

 

He couldn’t do it.

 

(Rationally, he knew the Hulk couldn’t be killed by conventional weapons, so why even bother?)(But a part of Bruce, a little shred buried under mountains of hatred and self-loathing, was unwilling to let him kill a part of himself). He was a doctor, he saved life, not destroyed it. ( _You’re weak.Pathetic.STUPID._ )

 

Grabbing the cables out of the cliff wall, he started flying the two of them away—to where though, he wasn’t sure yet.

 

Hulk, as always, was being uncooperative. The green giant swung himself back and forth, trying to grab onto anything nearby, anything to get himself free. Bruce felt like he was going toy shopping with a half-ton toddler.

 

They swung from side to side for a bit until Hulk finally managed to grab onto something. He then brought his feet in closer, and grabbed hold of the metal line, wrenching the exo-suit closer before kicking it away, the shock making Bruce loose his hold on the line.

 

The kick sent him onto a nearby butte, crumbling the rock below him.

 

(If Asgard had popcorn, Heimdall would get some, because, as they say on the streets: it was about to go _down_.)

 

* * *

 

_Meanwhile: Somewhere else in the dessert._

 

 _“_ What do you mean you’re not there yet, where are you?!” Ross demanded, after requisitioning a Humvee, and trying to follow after his last choice in the  _world_ for son-in-law at this point.

 

“ _On route to their last known co-ordinates, General. But,”_ there was a pause, _“between the Gamma Freaks and Stern’s attack on Gamma Base, we don’t have a_ single _air-worth chopper. We’re all grounded._ ”

 

“How many able-bodies in your command?”

 

“ _None, sir._ ” And given the intensity of the glare Captain Rogers had been shooting him, he hadn’t dared ask. The man had probably stolen a desert cycle and was out looking for his girlfriend as they spoke, but that didn’t seem to be worth mentioning at the moment. _“All remaining troops are at least an hour out._ ” And that wasn’t assuming the army had collectively gone ‘fuck this shit, you’re on your own, Ross’. A small part of Talbot couldn’t blame them. _“With your permission, I’ll call in Agent Gabriel of SHIELD and—“_

“Request denied. We’ve been doing this since the _beginning_ Talbot. All I’ve lost, all I’ve paid for the right to take out that fucker myself. The Hulk is _mine._ ” He looked at the anti-gamma sidearm in the passenger seat.

 

If he had only checked his rearview mirror, he would have seen Betty at the wheel of a Jeep, following him.

 

Despite all he’d done, all the pain he’d caused, Thaddeus Ross was still her father. And Betty wasn’t just going to let him do something stupid all on his own.


	10. It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me" - My Own Worst Enemy by Lit
> 
> That basically sums up the chapter

Bruce had been knocked down, but he got up again. Having lost trace of the Hulk, the suit scanned the area as he narrated a field journal. “Entry to Betty Ross: I’m forced to change tactics, provoke the Hulk into becoming angrier, more enraged than he’s ever been. Then, hopefully, his crude brain will simply overload.” That was when he saw the suit ‘scanning’ an enraged, incredible Hulk coming right at him.

 

At the last second, Bruce managed to knock Hulk back, the gamma monster landing on a natural rock bridge over the canyon below. Bruce shot out the bridge, sending the Hulk freefalling down into the valley, but still landing on his feet.

 

Bruce continued that strategy, using the landscape against the Hulk, sending down showers of pebbles and boulders, knocking him off cliff faces as he tried to climb back up, all while staying out of reach.

 

Frustrated, the Hulk started punching the ground like a toddler with a tantrum. “Time for the Hulk to get a taste of his own medicine.” Bruce stated, punching him twice in the face.

 

“Let’s see, you always lead with the left,” he dodged.

 

“Then a right.” Dodge.

 

“Left.” Dodge.

 

“Right.” Dodge

 

“Le—ow, _two_ rights. Then left.” That was when he noticed an incoming jeep in the valley below. The momentary distraction gave Hulk the opening he needed to knock Banner down, and the faceplate of the exo-suit off.

 

“I’ve got him, Banner.” Talbot assured, taking a plasma cannon in the back of the Humvee to the Hulk. The shots did manage to knock him back, but for every shot he hit, there was at least two he missed. Bruce tried to re-engage, but the Hulk brushed him aside, going after the new target. (like a junebug, Hulk had a tendency to go after the brighter of two opponents).

 

Jumping down, he threw the Humvee across the valley, Talbot managed to get out, clinging to the rock face before the vehicle crashed in a pile of mangled steel. Not done yet, Hulk began to pound at the rock wall underneath the Major. The Hulk’s brute strength cased pieces of the wall to break loose, causing Talbot to loose his grip, though the Major was caught in a large green hand before he hit the ground.

 

Hulk was about to punch him in the face (something all our heroes would approve of if it probably wouldn’t kill him also) when Bruce Banner swept back in, hitting the Hulk from behind, forcing the green bean to loose his grasp on Talbot. The Hulk knocked him aside.

 

“You know, I can just see the headlines,” Bruce started to taunt as the Hulk lunged at him. He disengaged the exo-suit’s arm, causing the green giant to fall to the ground. “The Incredible Hulk, gets his big, green, gamma butt kicked—“ Quite literally, as he kicked off one of the exo-boots, and it hitting Hulk in the posterior.

 

“---By none other than puny Bruce Banner!” He removed the top half of the exo-suit as well, and adrenaline fueling his system, threw it at Hulk (okay, the jets did the propelling). The Hulk crushed it like an empty soda can. “How much longer is it going to take?” Bruce grumbled aloud. “Steam your greens and boil over!” He dove through the Hulk’s legs as the gamma mutant picked up a giant boulder, and again, kicked him in the behind. The Hulk howled, and attempted to bring it down on Bruce, if the scientist hadn’t rolled out of the way in time.

 

Picking it back up, Hulk looked like he was going to try again, when he crushed the boulder into gravel in his bare hands and started groaning, this time in obvious pain. Bruce watched in parts victory and horror as the Strongest their Was went to his knees in pain. “Sensory overload achieved.” He deduced, right before clutching his own chest, and emitting a sound of pain himself.

 

 _Not now_ , he begged a deity who had turned Its back on him long ago. “What’s happening?” He tried to understand as Talbot finally got back to where the action was.

 

“Banner?” He questioned, as a familiar man in a military vehicle pulled up to the scene. Stepping out, he fired the anti-gamma ray at the Hulk immediately, sending the great giant hurdling into the side of the canyon.

 

Bruce forced himself to stand back up, and began walking with some of the exo-suit components still strapped to him when Talbon interfered. “I wouldn’t advise—“

 

Bruce did an Ji-jitsu throw, sending the major over his shoulder. He’d picked up more in Brazil than just a dog.

 

Talbot was about to fire again as the Hulk came back at him, when Betty drove in, her jeep and herself getting in-between Hulk and her father. She jumped out before the vehicle exploded, but was still hurt, landing on the hard ground with a thud and a groan.

 

Hulk snarled, and Bruce came towards his girl. Ross was about to fire again, when he was stopped by Talbot. “Sir,” he said gentle, but firm, lowering the barrel of the energy weapon, “enough.”

 

“Betty hurt?” Hulk asked, helping her up.

 

“No, I—you remember me?” She asked, fearful, but full of hope. “Bruce—“

 

“I heard. He remembers.”

 

“Betty said no one hurt Hulk. Why lie to Hulk?” He asked, sounding child-like. Before she could respond, he walked away, and leapt even farther.

 

“When his rage broke,” Bruce held her, “it must have caused deep buried memories to come to the surface.” Though, he was no psychologist, no matter how many times Tony tried to do the whole therapy thing with him.

 

“And he blames me for all his pain.” She knew that she would be crying, later, in the privacy of her own room (or perhaps even cell). But for now, she had to stay focused. Just then, Ross wrenched the weapon out of Talbot’s hands, went in the Jeep and, declaring that ‘this isn’t over!’ Speed away after the Hulk, firing at his back.

 

“Ross, stop!” Banner tried to call, before the adrenaline wore off and the pain returned. He fell to the ground, before swiftly passing out.

 

“Glenn, radio in for help—“ The major hesitated, before another, less destroyed vehicle pulled up. Captain Steve Rogers stuck his head out the driver’s side window.

 

“Need a lift?” he asked, with the Scarlet Hulk smiling and waving in the backseat.

 

* * *

 

It was a long, awkward ride back to Gamma Base. Betty was focused on monitoring Bruce, who was sprawled out in the back, and no one really wanted to talk.

 

As soon as they got back to the base, Betty alerted medical, and Talbot, as the highest ranking officer, took command. Mostly he focused on getting things operational again, and pointedly ignoring the fact that what Steve, Bruce, and Betty had done was all kinds of illegal.

 

The first thing Darcy does after getting back to Gamma Base is to lift up her shirt and exclaim, ‘look at the cool scar!’. Steve grimaces bust still ends up leaning in a bit to study it. It was an almost perfect X-shaped mark, running on her left side.

 

“Did the Hulk give that to you?” He asked reluctantly.

 

“No. The dude with the chainsaw bayonet on the plasma rifle.” Steve… did not remember that happening. Then again, he’d probably been knocked out or distracted with something else. But, that was when a nurse said that they could come in and talk to Dr. Ross.

 

“What’s happening?” Steve had been sick enough times in his life to know when someone was _bad_ and when someone was _really_ bad. Bruce looked one shade above death at the moment. “Is it some kind of side effect from the nutrient bath, or the fact that it was interrupted before we were done?”

 

“Yes and no. Bruce is stable now, and let me run a few tests. Then, we’ll have a few answers. As for the Hulk, I’m not entirely sure what it all means.”

 

“Well for one thing, we’ve all been pretty wrong about him, Doc.” Darcy spoke up. “He’s not just that little part of Bruce’s mind, or a split personality anymore. Hell, maybe he never really was. He’s his own…person now.”

 

“Betty,” Bruce asked weakly holding out his hand. Darcy just mouthed ‘go’, and she and Steve left to give the two some alone time.

* * *

 

Miles away in the desert, the Hulk’s condition was suffering as well. Having finally shaken off Ross, he was more or less just wandering aimlessly. Eventually, he tripped, and fell in to the sand, absolutely unable to pick himself up. From a small distance away, the Outcasts saw this.

 

As they had cared for their sister, they would care for their brother as well.

 

All Outcasts were family.

* * *

 

“I’ve made a decision.” Betty announced. “I want to marry you Bruce, as soon as possible.”

 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking?”

 

“You’re not exactly in the condition to get down on one knee. Besides, we’ve never been the most conventional couple. And, I want to to do it today, before _anything_ else can get in our way.”

 

“Betty, you know there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more but,” he sighed, “how can I think about myself when the Hulk’s still out there?”

 

“Stop. Right there.” She softly ordered, putting a finger to his lips. “I’ve heard that from you and my father far too many times. And you’ve seen what this fixation of his has done to us.”

 

“No, don’t you get it? It’s all up to me, I mean I—“ Bruce lied back, before realizing what he was saying. He let out a breath. “You’re right. You’re _always_ right. Who am I kidding? As of today, at this moment, there’s absolutely _nothing_ I can do. So, I will marry you. On one condition.”

 

“And that is?”

 

“Go down on one knee and actually ask me this time.” He teased, on the verge of laughing, and tears in his eyes. Betty was basically the same.

 

“Okay.” She moved from her spot on the bed to the hospital floor. “Robert Bruce Banner, will you make me the happiest woman alive, and do me the honor of becoming my husband?”

 

“I will.” Bruce smiled, and they kissed.


	11. In any Wedding, expect the Unexpected.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein, a soda pop ring is the best metaphor, and the token Stan Lee cameo comes into play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, I know it's been awhile, but I've practically been buried in homework this semester. I wanted to get this chapter out to you guys as soon as possible, so if there are any spelling errors or things that don't make sense, just let me know!
> 
> Happy belated St. Patrick's day for the adorkable smitten Irish we all know and love.

For the first time in a very long time, Bruce was at peace.

 

It was an absolutely perfect, and private moment. And it lasted for exactly 5.12 seconds. That was when an excited Scarlet Hulk burst into his hospital room with a smiling Captain America on her heels.

 

“Congratulations!” She tried to whisper, giving the couple a strong, red bear-hug. She remembered however strength, however, and let off before either of them bruised a rib.

 

“Wait, where you eavesdropping on us?” Bruce asked, even as he took the hug from the excited red woman. Steve just pointed to his super-soldier ears.

* * *

 

General Thaddeus Ross—aka Thunderbolt, aka Thunderthighs, aka That Motherf-er as well as a lot of other things by Scarlet Hulk—had lost his jeep, his way, and was this close to also loosing his sanity as well.

 

Driven to the edge by a lack of proper sleep or hydration, piled on by the immense stress of the past few days, he was shooting at shadows, driven by his determination to find and eliminate the Hulk. His desire to make super-soldiers from the beast had disappeared long ago. There was nothing that beast could bring but ruin upon him and his daughter.

 

He shot at a boulder that was vaguely Hulk-sized, blowing it to bits. “Come one! Come out and face me!” His delusions were egged on by the growling wind, and the rumbling jeep that he shot at as it drove up to him.

 

“Sir, Stop Firing!” The man inside yelled, driving around the blasts. “General!” He said, stopping and stepping out of the vehicle.

 

“Whoozat? Hulk?” He slur-yelled, the headlights blinding him.

 

“No, sir. It’s me, Major Talbot.” The shadowy figure stepped forward into the headlight’s beams.

 

“Glenn?” The old wardog blinked. “Good, _good._ ” He panted. “We-we have to hunt down that beast. Before SHIELD does, they’re out there you know,” he turned and looked into the dessert night, his gun raised. “Everywhere!” He gripped the shoulders of his most trusted aid, to convey his point and keep his balance. “It’s up to us--it’s _always_ been up to us.”

 

“Don’t worry sir, we’ll get the Hulk,” Glenn appeased, grabbing the barrel of the gun before getting on the radio. “Talbot here, contact Dr. Betty Ross, and tell her that her father’s been found. Wait, she’s doing _what?!_ ”

* * *

 

It had only taken about an hour before any rumor of a marriage going on spread around base, and considering what Steve knew about military scuttlebutt, that was quite a feat in and of itself. The other feat was going to be to get the ceremony going and the marriage legalized as quickly as possible. Darcy had somehow appointed herself Maid of Honor and all-around wedding planner, claiming that her experience as Jane’s assistant gave her all of the skills needed to get the bare bones of a wedding together. That left Steve as, well:

 

 “Could you be my best man?” Bruce asked, shy and not looking at him straight in the eye.

 

Steve’s shock slowly turned into happiness. “What? I mean, yes, of course.” And Steve, unsure of what else to do, smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder.

 

“Anyone I should call?” Darcy asked.

 

“Jen will probably be pissed off she we did this without her, but the point of it is that we’re doing this before anything else gets in the way.”

 

“Good, now, let’s talk wedding. I know it’s exceedingly last minute but I have a couple ideas…”

 

“Flowers.” She shoved a bouquet of two paper flowers into Betty’s hand. “Check. Witnesses, you have me and Steve. As for an officiate—“

 

“I’ve known the base Chaplin for awhile. He’s a secret romantic.” Dr. Ross informed with a smile.

 

“And after, we can go out for schwarma.” Bruce half-joked. (It was hard to tell with him sometimes).

 

“Is shawarma kosher?” Darcy asked absently, handing Dr. Banner a dressing robe and helping him out of bed.

 

“I think—wait, you’re Jewish?” Steve blinked.

 

“Um, yeah.” She blinked, not seeing that it was a big deal. “Is that a problem?” She said, sounding a little defensive.

 

“No.” Change the subject Rogers, change the subject. “Rings?” Darcy’s red skin seemed to pale for a moment before she snapped her fingers. Grabbing the empty can of soda nearby, she did some fiddling with her super-strength, and came out with two shiny, if slightly bent rings.

 

“There.” She smiled.

 

Betty couldn’t help but laugh, as an engagement ring made from a pop can by a hulk pretty much described everything about this wedding.

 

Like many little girls, Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Ross had imagined her wedding day once or twice over the years. Though, as she got older, those thoughts turned more towards biology, chemistry, and the general sciences.

 

Of course, Betty hadn’t imagined getting married in her best blouse and lab coat with Bruce in a robe and relying on a walker to stay upright. Or the fact that the best man would be Captain America himself in full Avengers gear with his ‘best girl’ (as he so adorably called her) as her maid of honor. Or that said Maid of Honor would be about seven feet tall with red skin.

 

“Not to be rude father,” before they began. “But would you mind giving us the cliff-notes version?”

 

“Of course,” the older (Stan Lee-looking) man obliged, flipping to another page in his book, and clearing his throat.

 

“Do you, Elizabeth Ross, solemnly swear that you love this man and want to marry him?”

 

“I do.” She sighed, looking at her groom, and not noticing at all the doe eyes the Best Man was sending the Maid of Honor.

 

“And do you, Bruce Banner, solemnly swear—“

 

What Betty should have expected though, was for her father, as always, to _ruin_ it.

 

“STOP!” Everyone turned, the Chaplin had his hand on his holster, and Steve’s on his shield. An unkempt and utterly insane looking Ross was grappling with Major Talbot, succeeded in taking his sidearm, and currently had it pointed at the wedding party. Well, to be more specific, the groom.

 

“Nobody move! Or my daughter spends her wedding night a widow.” And by the red dot on Bruce’s forehead, he obviously wasn’t kidding.


	12. Networking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation years in the making comes to a head, and Darcy is good with furniture

(Heimdall did not have the luxury of off time. While he was not always stationed at the Bifrost, his gift of highly enhanced sight and hearing could not be simply turned off. Limited, but never truly gone. As such, he managed to find a few fringe benefits over the centuries, and peeking into the lives of interesting mortals was one of them. It wasn’t snooping—okay, it was snooping but he deserved it.

 

And right now, he really wished that he had a bowl of Asgardian popcorn. Because it was about to go down.)

 

* * *

 

“No daughter of mine is going to marry the man responsible for everything bad that’s ever happened to me.” Ross said, half crazed. No one was sure if he would actually pull the trigger, least of all Talbot.

 

“That’s it, I will _break_ him.” The Scarlet Hulk growled. But Betty stopped her maid of honor. This was her fight, this had _always_ been her fight.

 

And it was a long time coming.

 

“No, dad!”

 

“Father, stop this nonsense this instant.” She demanded,

 

“I mean it Betty, I won’t allow it!” Allow it? That sounded antiquated to Steve, and he was literally two years old when women got the right to vote.

 

“Wrong again dad! Everything that’s gone wrong has come from exactly one thing: your _obsession_ with the Hulk! Don’t believe me? Well then, like a good scientist let me back up my hypothesis with facts. You supervised a revitalization of the super-solider program _without_ telling us it was a super-solider program. Worried about funding cuts and wanting to save lives, Bruce tested it on himself—an idiotic move, but done with the best of intentions. You continuously tried to hunt Bruce down across the globe even though it was made _exceedingly_ clear every single time you engaged he was going to win. You gave Blonsky an unstable super soldier serum, allowing Sterns to turn him into the Abomination. So this,” she gestured, “this is on you. And that very same obsession has you _waving a laser gun at my wedding!_ ”

 

“Dad,” she said, stepping in front of Bruce and directly into the line of fire, “it’s gone too far.” Something must have gotten through Ross’s half-crazed, mind, as he lowered the gun.

 

“Am I the only one who…sees the truth?” He said to himself. “You’re with me, aren’t you major?”

 

“No sir, this isn’t the way.”

 

“Let it go, dad.” Betty said, and Ross seemed like he was finally going to see reason.

 

But not wanting to risk it. Darcy then hit him in the back of the head with a chair and locked the door. “If we might hurry this along.” She said, noticing Bruce getting offly unsteady on his feet. “Bruce, Betty, you two still wanna get married?”

 

“We do.”

 

“Any objections?” Talbot picked up the laser gun from the floor and shook his head. “Reverend?”

 

“By the power vested in me…oh just kiss him already.”

 

“Yes sir.” Betty said, and it must have been one hell of a kiss because Bruce passed out after only a few seconds.

 

Wait.

 

Fuck.

 

“We’re loosing him!”

 

Double fuck.

 

* * *

 

Steve was of the opinion that there were people in the world who deserved, no had more than _earned_ at fucking break. And Steven Rogers more than believed that Bruce Banner was one such man. But every time the good doctor seemed to get so much of a shred of true happiness, it was unfairly and cruelly ripped away from him.

 

“What are you saying, doctor?”

 

“Bruce…the Hulk…their bodies literally can’t survive without each other.” Betty said, looking at her new husband in heartbreak. “The nutrient bath was a tragic mistake. To think I could…that doesn’t matter now.”

 

“We separate Bruce from the Hulk, something they _both wanted_ , and now they’re dying. Ain’t that just _fucking_ rich. Can’t just _one_ thing in this world just go right?!” Darcy said, kicking the table into the wall.

 

“Wait, Scarlet—There’s still a chance, a small one. If we could possibly reverse the nutrient bath and put Bruce and Hulk _back_ together…”

 

“You mean; we could save them?” Steve asked, well, more or less demanded. Bruce was his friend.

 

“Yes.” Dr. Ross-Banner said. “There is a chance.” And turned to look at Dr. Banner. “I know what Bruce would say if he were conscious, and I know he’ll hate me for it but…he’ll be alive to hate me.”

 

“Oh Betts.” Darcy said, bringing Betty in for a hug, “Bruce could never hate you.” But comfort, like time, was a luxury at the moment. And a luxury they were soon running out of. Betty pushed her friend away, if only for now. She sniffled, then went back to business. “Scarlet, Captain, it’s your job to go out and find the Hulk, and try to bring him back.”

 

“I think I know just where to look. And the best way to get there.” Darcy said. She and her boyfriend exchanged a look—and Steve wasn’t sure he liked the look in her eye.

 

* * *

 

 

Not ten minutes later, he was hanging on for dear life as Darcy carried him ‘Yoda-style’ on her back as she leapt across the desert.

 

Seriously, how was this his life?

 

After what felt like an eternity (but was probably closer to half and hour) she stopped.

 

“What is this place?” He asked, looking at the black, scorched ground and general lifelessness all around.

 

“Where I was born.” She said, sounding almost nostalgic. “Well, metaphorically speaking.” She sighed, looking around. “I actually don’t know when I was really—that’s not important right now.” Not for the first time, Steve noted how tight-lipped Darcy was about her past and her background. He tried to not to press to hard on the subject, knowing that most of the Avengers had less than pleasant childhoods and not sure what he would do if he found out Darcy had one similar.

 

He was drawn out of that train of thought when the love of his life cupped her hands around her mouth like a megaphone and made clicking sounds.

 

“Uhm, what?” But before he could respond, two mutated creatures descended from the sky.

 

“Sup Falco.” She greeted one. “Hey Vault.” She said to the other. The two made several familiar sounding screeches, before apparently getting down to business.

 

“Yes, yes I know. Hulk’s in trouble, but we know how to fix him.” The two birds shared a look. “C’mon, you trust me, don’t you? Would I do anything to purposefully endanger the Hulk?” They shook their heads. “Good to know. Now, we need to get him back to base as soon as possible. I already told Kay-Kay to inform Rattilore, and we should have our response soon enou—“

 

A giant ant and scorpion came burrowing out of the ground, the Hulk carried between them. He seemed non-responsive.

 

“You guys are the best!” She smiled at the two arthropods.

 

“Vult, you think you can carry him back with us?” If Steve didn’t know any better, he’d say the vulture looked almost insulted by the notion. “Of course you can. Falco, mind giving us a ride?”

 

Like something out of Lord of the Rings, the giant falcon crouched and let them on.

 

“How did they know to find you here?”

 

"It's our agreed upon meeting place if something goes down."

 

“Speaking of, how the heck can you understand them?” he asked. Scarlet Hulk just shrugged.

 

“Maybe it’s a side affect of the gamma bomb. Maybe I just have good ears. Now hop on, dollface.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“I can’t believe the view from up here.” Darcy said wistfully as they took off, observing all the stars in the sky.

 

“I know.” He said, a little wistful himself, having an eyeful of the vision in red he was blessed with.

 

If it weren’t for the fact that one of their friends was dying and they were on a tight schedule, Steve would be tempted to call this the perfect moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's origin and background probably isn't going to be mentioned or expanded upon much in the MCU. But just in case I'm wrong I'm planning on keeping her history vague.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking around after a month, and I hope that you like it!
> 
> And credit to Joey99 for the idea to whack Ross in the head.


	13. Where it all comes together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, to be clear, I'm not an expert on PTSD or mental illness. If you know more than me, please let me know if I've done anything majorly wrong.
> 
> Thank you.

 

The two birds of prey had flown off the moment everything was situated. Humans—well, humans they didn’t know—made all of the Outcasts a bit twitchy, as Darcy explained.

 

There was, however, a little bit of an elephant in the room. Bruce had made it clear in the past that he’d rather be dead than be the Hulk, something he’d been seeming to get over recently. Still, they all knew they’d be dooming Bruce to a life of misery were they to re-combine him to the Hulk. It would take a long time for Bruce to really forgive them for this, if he ever did.

 

But as Betty had said best: at least Bruce would be alive to hate them for it. Darcy had thought of _Pikuach Nefesh_ , that the preservation of life overrides anything else.

 

A movement in the far corner of the lab caught her eye. _And in some cases, the drive to try to ruin absolutely everything for other people overrides everything else._ Yep, Thundertsnuff Ross was trying at it again.

 

It had taken them three hours to get the only wrecked lab in the entire base even halfway ready for the treatment. That was apparently three hours that jackass had to wake up from his concussion and try to make his daughter a widow again. (Which, by the way, Bruce and Betty were legally married, she’d even sent copies of the legal documents to JARVIS to safeguard).

 

And yeah, that’s basically what he was thinking. Banner ironically dying in the same manner that created his monster. An innocent lab accident—and now way for Betty to ever blame him for it.

 

“Oh no you don’t.” The Scarlet Hulk managed to wrench the fire extinguisher away from him, but not before Ross managed to make her loose her footing and make her trip into the pot of Hulk stew below.

 

Good news: Bruce and the Hulk were already combined (Oh yeah, and the procedure already started an hour ago) so, this probably wouldn’t hurt them.

 

Bad news: this was probably going to hurt her.

 

She tried not ingest any of the nutrient bath, but she could already feel it going up her nose.

 

And she—she didn’t feel so good. Tapping on the glass, she shattered it without much effort, rolling onto the ground and gasping for breath like Darcy Lewis had just run a whole marathon. Steve was at her side almost immediately, pulling back her hair as she voided the contents of her stomach. She then started spitting up the liquid from the nutrient bath mixed with her own green blood.

 

Soon enough, she could feel herself start to change. Not the pleasant tingle of her transformation to and from the Scarlet Hulk, no, it felt like someone was cutting her skin off and sewing it back on with dull, rusty needles. She’d heard of people mentally breaking from torture, and she thought she could be strong but she couldn’t. Darcy could already feel her mind start to fracture.

Oh god oh god oh god, is this what Bruce went through every time he changed? Was she changing? Into what? Would she ever even change back?

 

Even though everything hurt, she managed to look back up at Steve. _Oh God, Steve._ The Irish Catholic would inevitably find a way to blame himself for all of this. His baby blues looked down at her, full of concern and love. Poor bastard probably had no clue what was going on (not like he had ever let that stop him before).

 

“I—I love you!” Was all she was able to rasp out, the transformation taking her over, and she was screaming in pure agony.

 

“NO!” He screamed, trying to hold her, trying to _help_. But she knocked him into the wall.

 

Oh God.

 

_What did they do._

X

He was panicking. He was having a panic attack. A small, detached part of him realized that—a small part. As established, the vast majority of his mind was having a bit of a panic attack. Usually when that happened, it was because of a bad dream or a flash back or a—a—

 

 _Breathing exercise Rogers, count backwards from ten._ He counted backwards from fifteen, but it barely helped. He looked around the room (distraction, something to focus on). Betty seemed to be horrified and not sure of what to do. Bruce was slumped against the wall, only starting to come to.

 

Darcy, aka the Scarlet Hulk, aka the woman he loved, just fell into a vat of chemicals that were re-combining Bruce Banner and the Hulk.

 

She was now transforming into something—something that didn’t look like the Scarlet Hulk.

 

And it didn’t look pleasant. (And there was nothing he could do to help her)

 

Her skin was starting to turn grey. (The artist in him questioned that. Mixing Hulk’s Green and Scarlet’s Red would make brown not—shut up Rogers, not helping.)

 

His Ma had died in an eerily similar way. Gasping for air and coughing up blood as the tuberculosis took her. Then, like now, he couldn’t do anything but hold her hand as she gasped out her final breath.

 

And if Darcy went…he wouldn’t be far behind. He wouldn’t swallow a bullet or do a concrete swan dive, no she wouldn’t want that. She’d be disappointed in him. He’d go out swinging, force some punk with a gun and an agenda to finally give him some peace. Until then, he’d hold her.

 

Yeah, Darcy liked being held. They would take turns being the little spoon and the big spoon in bed because who didn’t like being the little spoon it made you feel safe and he liked feeling safe and fucking Christ even his thoughts were babbling and was it getting warm in here?

 

He was holding her now, and her screams had stopped ringing in his ears. It burned. Not like burning up with fever, but an actual burn. Pain…pain he knew; pain he could deal with. Steve bit the inside of his mouth and held her tighter.

 

The panic started to fade away, little by little. He could start to hear again, for one thing. He glanced up, Talbot was there, and he and Betty were saying…Words.  Words words words that didn’t mean anything to him.

 

Until—

 

“ _Captain Rogers!”_ He snapped to attention. Dr. Ross held the raw authority of a drill sargent in her voice.

 

“Yes ma’am.” He responded automatically.

 

“You’re burning.”

 

“I know ma’am.” She pointed beneath him. He didn’t follow until she pointed again and he looked down to see the metal floor beneath his beloved is starting to _melt._

 

Okay, that was new.

 

“Ma’am?”

 

“Yes soldier.”

 

“Status report.” He requested, falling into old protocol.

 

“It’s a gamma fever.” Bruce coughed, now more or less awake.”

 

“Please elaborate.”

 

“You know how a fever is the body’s way of fighting bacteria?”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

  
“Well, Scarlet’s body is literally burning out the foreign gamma cells.” He nodded.

 

“Permission to speak freely, ma’am?” He requested.

 

“Granted.” She nodded.

 

“Will she be okay, ma’am?” The drill sergeant/doctor bit her lip.

 

“Unknown. But if Scarlet’s advanced healing factor manages to fight off the Hulk’s cells…we will see, soldier.”

 

“Understood ma’am.” He nodded. He could wait.

 

* * *

 

It took exactly two hours, thirty-nine minutes and fifteen seconds for Darcy Lewis’ fever to break. Another ten minutes and five seconds to wake up. And Steve _totally_ didn’t count every moment.

 

Just like he totally wasn’t going to cry when she cracked her eyes opened, glanced over to him and said: “Hiya dollface.”

 

He totally didn’t. And the reason that he totally didn’t was because the Special Forces were due to arrive any minute now and they needed to make like a tree and leaf.

 

“Why’s that?” She said as Betty came to check her vitals then disconnect her from the various medical equipment.

 

“Because after the shit we just pulled, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chiefs of Staff have decided to just give a collective ‘fuck this shit’, lock us all up and threw away the key.”

 

“…yeah should probably get out of here.” She made a move to stand up. Steve insisted on carrying her instead. The super soldier expertly slung his girl onto his back like it was a piggy back ride.

 

“I can stand.” She protested.

 

“I know.” He said with a cheeky grin as they piled into the mini-van that Betty had ‘borrowed’ from someone on base. Betty was driving, Bruce at shotgun, while Steve and Darcy were in the back holding hands.

 

“So…what happens now?” Darcy asked as the four of them drove away from the steaming pile of excrement that had been this weekend.

 

“Welp,” Betty said, popping the p, “I’m probably gonna be fired from consulting from the military. My dad _might_ be discharged for throwing away probably billions of dollars in going after the two of you.” She looked at her husband. “And we have a honeymoon to run off to. Or at the very least need a place to crash for a few days because I have not paid my rent in…let’s say awhile.”

 

“We could head to my cousin Jennifer’s place.” Bruce suggested.

 

“You think she’ll be fine with us crashing there?”

 

“So long as it’s not _literally_ crashing her place.” He replied dryly. “She may be a little ticked that we got married without her though.”

 

“Crap.” Darcy sighed.

 

“Well it’s not a deal breaker she’ll probably just insist we do another ceremony with her there.”

 

“No that’s not it—though I am glad you have such a supportive relative—I sent pictures of you and Betts’ marriage license to Jarvis for safekeeping. Which means—“

 

“Tony has them.” Bruce said, rubbing his temples. “And he’s probably going to do something…”

 

“Over the top, slightly condescending, all while being happy for you yet irritable that we didn’t tell him you got married.” Steve finished.

 

“Pretty much yeah.” Bruce huffed.

 

“Anyway Bruce, continuing this little game, what happens next for you?”

 

“I hope Jen’s number is still current, and that she has a wide enough couch.”

 

Steve went next. “Nick Fury is going to yell at me for an hour for not letting him now about this, I’m probably going to be assigned to some extra-crappy missions for awhile, and I’m going to need to buy you a ring.” There was a noticeable silence.

 

That was when Steve realized something.

 

“Dammit. I forgot to actually ask you, didn’t I?” He sighed. The newlyweds in the front seat tried not to laugh at the hilarity of the situation.

 

“If you’re talking about asking me what I think that you’re asking me, then no, you haven’t actually asked me to do the thing.”

 

“In that case, at the next rest stop, I will get down on one knee and ask you to make me the happiest person I know. I will say that I've been alone since I was eighteen years old, up until the moment that I realized I was in love with you. I will say that I love you more than anyone else in the world, that you're the center of my universe, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 

“And I will say yes.” Darcy continued, sincerely smiling. “I will say that I will have your six, now and forever, that I love you and I like you more than anyone else I know. And I will swear that not even gods or aliens or whatever can ever tear us apart. No matter what happens to us, whatever mind-bending insanity the universe decides to put us through, I am not letting you go Steven Grant Rogers. And then I'm going to call Tony Stark and ask if he could make a bulletproof wedding dress.”

 

It wasn’t the perfect story book proposal that either of them had envisioned, but fucking hell what in either of their lives were? They had to take and appreciate the small, perfectly imperfect moment wherever they could, otherwise this job, this life, would drive them insane.

 

Leaning over, the happy couple engaged in a perfect cinematic-worthy kiss, as their bland, government-issue chariot drove off into the horizon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue, then a Mid and Post credits scene. Enjoy!


	14. The Credit Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Humorous Mid-Credit Scene with the more serious and foreshadowing Post-Credit Scene

Sharon Carter loved her job—usually. Usually, she loved honoring her Aunt Peggy, and doing her best to defend not only her country, but the world she lived in.

 

But right now wasn’t one of those times.

 

“Agent 13, report.”

 

“If they go at it any harder they’re going to break the bed.” She said, more to herself than anyone.

 

“What—“ There was a crack of wood and startled grunts.

 

“And there it is.”

 

Sharon Carter didn’t get paid nearly enough to listen to superheroes having sex with Katy Perry being played to try and muffle the sex noises. And failing.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sterns wasn’t able to deliver the promised amount.” One evil scientist said to his evil supervisor.

 

“How much less?”

 

“He only sent enough treatment for one individual sir—said something about wanting us to test it first to make sure we got what he wanted. Not really his fault he can’t make any more though, Hulks have a bit of a record of destroying stuff and ruining everything.”

 

“And their star-spangled compatriots as well.” The supervisor grumbled. “The Asset will deal with him. What we need to be focusing is a way of dealing with the Incredible Hulk, as well as the Scarlet Hulk.”

 

“If I may, sir, the Weapon X Program has had some very promising developments in recent years, and wouldn’t be opposed to letting us borrow one of their assets—“

 

“I’m not interested. You need a thief to catch a thief, and in this case, you need a Hulk to beat a Hulk.” On a nearby lab table, a vial of red serum sat almost menacingly.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'll be taking a short break from The Savage Scarlet Hulk Series in order to work on my Vikings AU: Traditional Viking. (Btw if u wanna check it out, I should have the second chapter out by the end of the week)


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